Sexual Endeavours
by Ichinohei Hitomi
Summary: Ranma's mother wonders why he doesn't have any...
1. Beating Around the Bush

"Nabiki, I need some help. How much will it cost?"  
  
Nabiki looked at the person who was asking for her help and raised  
  
an eyebrow. It wasn't that she was averse to helping but for some reason  
  
having this person ask for help, and then ask how much it would cost was a  
  
little worrisome. This had to be a matter so serious, that money would be  
  
out of the question, even for her. "Just whatever it will cost me."  
  
The person nodded. "I need to know something about Ranma, and I  
  
cannot ask him directly, or know that I am looking into this."  
  
Both of Nabiki's eyebrows raised at that. That it had something to  
  
do with Ranma was expected, that she wanted this kept quiet was NOT in her  
  
character. "It's extremely serious, isn't it? Is Ranma going to die or  
  
something if we don't do something for him, if whatever it is, is not  
  
correct?"  
  
The woman before her sighed, and then sat on Nabiki's bed. "I'm  
  
not sure. It could be serious, but asking Genma is out of the question  
  
since he would lie to me, and to Ranma. I doubt Ranma even knows what is  
  
wrong, which is another reason I don't want to talk with him about it."  
  
"What exactly is wrong?" Nabiki inquired, not comfortable with  
  
talking around issues when it came to business. While it was tradition,  
  
anything that took more time made it difficult to plan and gather  
  
information. "Do you think that something Genma has done  
  
has...damaged...Ranma in some manner?"  
  
"I'm not sure, it could be something that happened on the training  
  
trip, or it could be his curse, or it may be the situation. Given what  
  
I've seen, I'm afraid for him, and it may affect his happiness. I need you  
  
to find out for sure."  
  
"I'm sure it's not that bad, Aunt Nodoka. After all, Ranma has  
  
faced everything everyone has been able to throw at him, and has always  
  
come out on top."  
  
Nodoka nodded, and then said, "That's why. He's almost perfect in  
  
the Martial Arts, he keeps all of the ties of honour as best he can, and  
  
does it in a fashion that no one can question, even though people accuse  
  
him of things that he has not done, and are definitely not true. He has  
  
proven himself a man, a leader, and a person who everyone admires, and  
  
tries to emulate in some manner. However, something with this picture is  
  
wrong. Very wrong."  
  
Nabiki frowned, and then indicated for Nodoka to continue.  
  
"I'm afraid that Ranma may have some problems with..."  
  
Sexual Endeavours  
  
Part One:  
  
Beating Around the Bush...  
  
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2  
  
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun,  
  
Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo,  
  
Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Si, Cologne, Ke Lun, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi,  
  
Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2000 by Takahashi  
  
Rumiko.  
  
Publishing rights:Japan by Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo  
  
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
  
North America by Viz Inc.   
  
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi  
  
Ranma smiled to himself as he completed his latest technique.  
  
After several weeks, he had finally perfected a move that everyone would  
  
not expect from him. After all, he _never_ paid attention to Happousai  
  
unless he did not have a choice. While Ranma would never use the more  
  
perverted techniques, he didn't deny that the little...whatever...was a  
  
master of the Art, and thus had something to teach, if you knew where to  
  
look.  
  
Besides, it allowed him to work out his frustrations.  
  
During the past year, since he had been at the dojo, everyone he  
  
had met seemed to think of him either as a prize to be won (or taken in  
  
some cases), an heir to various schools he didn't want to be associated  
  
with, or the person everyone and their semi-mystical pet needed to kill,  
  
maim, or enslave in order to prove they were better.  
  
If he hadn't been observing and learning from everything that  
  
everyone had thrown at him, his stress level would be a lot higher than it  
  
already was.  
  
If only the various ties of honour weren't hanging over his head  
  
like a blade. The promise of being a 'Man Among Men', being engaged to  
  
both girls and boys thanks to his father and uncle, that he did not know  
  
the laws of the Joketsuzoku and thus had Shampoo as a bridal candidate  
  
with the assorted problems (namely Mousse and Cologne), a perverted  
  
martial arts master who he was technically supposed to obey as the head of  
  
the school, trying to keep up his grades in academics, and who knew what  
  
else was still to come.  
  
People either admired him or hated him because of it.  
  
That's why he was glad that since his mother had arrived, he was  
  
allowed to have a room of his own.  
  
If _ANYONE_ learned his greatest secret then he would definitely  
  
be dead. Well, perhaps not dead, but at least ridiculed, made fun of,  
  
and, if Nabiki had her way, make his life a living hell.  
  
Giving a sigh, he left the dojo and went to the bath. If he had  
  
timed everything correctly, everyone he knew would be out.  
  
And that meant that he could go and have some _real_ fun.  
  
***  
  
Nabiki walked around the shopping district, absently looking at  
  
various stores. If what Aunt Nodoka suspected was correct, it would  
  
explain a hell of a lot. To think that the person who personified the  
  
absolute 'ultra-masculine' image could not even think of...  
  
Well, it certainly boggled the mind.  
  
Nabiki's problem was how to confirm this without it getting out  
  
over the entire district. Hell, if just her father learned about this  
  
possibility, he'd be crying so loud, everyone would hear him, and that  
  
meant Shampoo, and Cologne, then Ukyou, not to mention the Kunos, or her  
  
hot-headed little sister. *Actually, Akane-chan would be the worst one to  
  
learn of it. She'd think it was some kind of plan to be perverted and  
  
_wham_! Ranma will either be punched, kicked, or malleted.*  
  
Well, perhaps a look at his medical records, and then comparing  
  
those with some of the books in the medical library might work. Then  
  
again, the doctors would probably have noticed something physically wrong  
  
since he did have to go through two cat scans previously. "Damn it, Ranma,  
  
why can't anything be simple around you!" Nabiki muttered below her  
  
breath, "All this trouble with your 'fiances' and it could be because of  
  
some condition that you may not even know about."  
  
Turning around, she headed for Dr. Tofu's, not noticing the small,  
  
white cat that just happened to be below a fruit display.  
  
Waiting until Nabiki was well away, the cat thought about what she  
  
just heard. Something was wrong, and it was the cause of Ranma not  
  
choosing her. She _knew_ it had to be something else, after all, who  
  
could resist her charms, and Shan Pu had a lot of 'charm'. It was hard to  
  
imagine however, Ranma was _PERFECT_! There couldn't be something  
  
physically wrong with him. Padding slowly away, Shan Pu thought of those  
  
perfect pectorals, the firm abdomen, the way...  
  
She shook her head, and then started to run as fast as she could  
  
to the Nekohanten. If there was anything wrong Great-grandmother would  
  
know what to do. She always knew what to do, and then, perhaps, she would  
  
be willing to help her once again to bring her husband home, or at least  
  
get him to acknowledged the marriage.  
  
Shan Pu didn't care if she lived away from the village for the  
  
rest of her life, as long as she had Ranma, children, and, of course, the  
  
wedding night which she fantasized about constantly.  
  
Besides, she was sure it was Panda-man's fault. The man just lived  
  
to create trouble, especially for her husband. If anything was wrong, it  
  
had to be a curse of some kind, just like the curse of Jusenkyu. As soon  
  
as Ranma acknowledge who Shan was, she was going to make sure that  
  
Panda-man was sent to a breeding farm.  
  
***  
  
Ryouga, of course, was trying to find Akari's farm. He was sure  
  
that it was somewhere around here. He knew it had to be around somewhere  
  
since he passed these apartment buildings the last time he went to see  
  
her. Looking at his new piece of survival gear, a handheld GPS mechanism,  
  
which had been a gift from Ranma after the failed wedding, he changed  
  
directions to follow the pointing mechanism. No word had been said about  
  
why Ranma had gotten it, and Ryouga, in a rare mood, being sorry that he  
  
messed up his friend's marriage opportunity for no good reason, decided  
  
not to say a word himself. They both passed it off as something that would  
  
be handier to have than a compass, especially in wooded areas.  
  
In all fairness to the poor lost boy, this time it really wasn't  
  
his fault. He was paying attention to the device, and it was supposedly  
  
showing the way to get to Akari's farm. There was, however, a slight  
  
hairline crack in the surface that wouldn't be noticeable, even under  
  
close inspection, and that had let water into the unit, shorting out a few  
  
of the circuits. Ironically, it was showing the way to a home he had  
  
always been trying to find over the past year, the Tendo Dojo when he  
  
wanted to go somewhere else.  
  
***  
  
character one frowned at the girl in the alley across the street  
  
from her. She still couldn't believe it, even though she had seen the  
  
transformation herself. "That little tramp!" character one fumed, "She's  
  
been pretending to be a boy all this time! When I get my hands on her..."  
  
She growled as the girl in the strange costume literally leapt to  
  
the top of a five-story apartment complex. To imagine that her supposed  
  
boyfriend was in reality a 'magical girl' was more than irritating.  
  
character one was going to have some revenge, but the question was how.  
  
character two a who was now revealed as character two b, the  
  
person who had saved Nerima many times over the last year from various  
  
threats, ranging from criminals to mystical people, was unbearably  
  
beautiful. For that reason alone, character two a should be shown why  
  
you never play with a girl's heart. Unfortunately, no matter the revenge  
  
she wanted, character one could not risk harming her 'boyfriend', not  
  
unless she wanted to take out the only person who could face all of these  
  
mysterious threats. If they were actually threats and not just a publicity  
  
stunt.  
  
She had to plan carefully, find her weakness, at least  
  
emotionally, and then attack her in that manner. It would be a perfect  
  
revenge, and make sure that...that...girl was at least physically fine.  
  
character one snorted, in a way character two b had the perfect cover.   
  
No one would believe that a handsome, and absolutely perfect specimen of a  
  
man would also be such a cute, beautiful, and sexy girl.  
  
"You know," character one mumbled to herself, her hand clenching  
  
unconsciously, "If I was in a manga or anime, all I would have to do is  
  
grab a hammer and pound the jerk over the head. Too bad that's all  
  
fantasy, the idea has a lot of appeal."  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Ranma!" a person said as she came into the computer lab,  
  
"Finish your assignment for creative writing yet?"  
  
Ranma kept his hand on his chest where he had clutched it. It was  
  
hard enough finding the time to do his extra work, and also fortunate that  
  
the juku he was in knew of his unusual situation, but he was always afraid  
  
that this would get back to everyone he knew. How would they react to the  
  
fact that the 'super dumb jock' was in reality a closet computer fanatic?   
  
He didn't even want to try and find out, knowing that the girls would  
  
probably all rush to the class, and his rivals would destroy everything he  
  
was trying to do. One reason that he had chosen a juku that was as far  
  
away from home as possible.  
  
"Fine so far. Don't scare me like that!" Ranma replied, his voice  
  
showing his annoyance.  
  
"Yeah, right. The great writer and programmer gets so scared.   
  
Admit it, you just got caught up in your machine again."  
  
Ranma snorted right back, "So? Computers are a great way of  
  
finding information, and they pay a hell of a lot better than being a  
  
writer or artist. Hell, those people working for Square get money hand  
  
over fist!"  
  
His companion, a girl in a school uniform, short hair, and glasses  
  
looked at him in askance, "Is money all you can think about?"  
  
Ranma smirked back at the old argument, "Nah...There's also food,  
  
sleep, hardware, programming, and RPG's."  
  
Sakura rolled her eyes, "You know, despite your build and the way  
  
I've seen you act sometimes, you're a real geek."  
  
"Thanks for the compliment."  
  
Growling under her breath, she peeked over Ranma's shoulder.   
  
"What's with this 'character one' bit? Can't you even think of some  
  
names?  
  
"Nah, it's so people can insert names of their own. I figure if  
  
the story is good enough, I can make it into the base of our RPG project.   
  
Think of it, an RPG that you don't only have a base story, but animation  
  
that sets out entire scenes, like a movie! It's the easiest way to have  
  
things work out. Not only that, but we can also build on it, and create  
  
several different scenarios based upon what's already happened. That way  
  
we can recycle a number of the animation scenes with only slight  
  
variations."  
  
"Computers don't have that sort of video capacity."  
  
"Ah...who cares about that right now. I figure that if it's  
  
encoded right, we can fit the whole thing into about 8 Megs of data, and  
  
only 300 Kb of program." Ranma replied.  
  
Sakura looked at him carefully, "Ranma, the only way you could do  
  
that is to write directly to machine language."  
  
"Of course! That's what makes this format so beautiful!"  
  
Sakura groaned. What would it take to get this geek away from  
  
that damn machine and get him to notice her! He wasn't a dumb jock, and  
  
the fact that he was a very smart, and somewhat idealistic and naive guy  
  
should have left him open to the slight suggestions she was making.   
  
"Ranma...Oh never mind, just go back to what you were doing."  
  
He shrugged slightly, and then got back to writing. Everyone here  
  
would likely know the source from which he was creating his stories for  
  
the project, but what the hell. Besides, it was fun, and he could make  
  
situations happen in the stories that would never happen in real life. A  
  
glint came into his eyes as he thought of something. Perhaps a few hidden  
  
codes in the story. When he compiled it, only the most fanatical of  
  
players would discover them, and then he could add a second hidden story  
  
to the game. Maybe a sex story; they always seemed to make money, or at  
  
least fans.  
  
***  
  
Tofu-sensei's eyebrow raised as he looked at Nabiki. "Why would  
  
you need to have copies of all of Ranma and Akane's medical records?"  
  
Nabiki sighed. "Ranma would have been married to Akane, if the  
  
wedding wasn't ruined by the various guest who showed up. While it is a  
  
matter of family honour, I've got to give the traditional proof of both  
  
families to idiots like Kuno-chan before we can try again. Kuno-chan  
  
would love to prove that Ranma was some type of undesirable, either from  
  
family history, or some sort of medical problem which may be genetic."  
  
"I heard rumours about his stability, but is he really that much  
  
of a fanatic?" Tofu asked quietly, "If he is, perhaps I could help by  
  
having a group 'talk' to him for the sake of the community."  
  
Nabiki grimaced. "It's already been tried with Kuno's father, who  
  
happens to be the headmaster of Furinkan. Unfortunately he is too well  
  
connected to do anything. Why else would the various teachers have been  
  
willing to be humiliated by him, or the fact that all of his programs are  
  
overlooked by the education ministry? The man is an idiot, crazed, and a  
  
threat to the students, but he is allowed to be free."  
  
Tofu frowned. "How bad is he of a threat to the students? Is it  
  
only physically, or are there more serious issues to be concerned about?"  
  
"The school will be fortunate to have one person advance to a  
  
proper level given what has happened."  
  
Tofu sat up suddenly. If what Nabiki was implying was correct, it  
  
was extremely serious. How powerful was the Kuno clan? "Nabiki, tell me  
  
without wavering. Is there a threat to the students proceeding towards  
  
dishonour?"  
  
Nabiki nodded. "Jukus are practically forbidden by the headmaster  
  
unless it has to do with studying about Hawaii. I doubt that many will  
  
pass the Juken, and even then, it will have to be overseas training."  
  
Tofu nodded, and started to gather Ranma and Akane's files,  
  
medical records, and personal information. "It will take me a little  
  
while to write up a letter for each of these files, and I now understand  
  
the urgency. I would like you to describe your impressions of the  
  
headmaster, for the records. I will, of course, keep your name out of  
  
this, and have an observation group enter the school. There are several  
  
Ministries which will be interested in this information, and that have  
  
more...influence, than the Ministry of Education."  
  
Nabiki nodded. Trading information was good, and perhaps  
  
something could be done about the head nut. Perhaps a pool on how long  
  
before Headmaster Kuno was removed, or the date when he was to be removed  
  
would be appropriate. It wouldn't hurt to make _some_ money on this deal.  
  
***  
  
Laughing maniacally, Ranma prepared his move, knowing that he  
  
would be successful, and that his foe would be defeated, if not dead, for  
  
daring to try and go after him.  
  
"Saotome, just roll the damn dice. Whenever you laugh like that  
  
it sends chills down my spine."  
  
"Ah, you're just jealous that I can pull it off. Besides, my  
  
character is supposed to be half crazy because of that mind control  
  
attempt a while back, and you're the one who designed the spell that did  
  
it."  
  
"Hey, how was I supposed to know it'd backfire like that?" Ryu  
  
grumbled. "Just because you failed your saving throw is no reason to take  
  
it out on us."  
  
Ranma replied by dumping a glass of water on his head, "Well, I  
  
_do_ happen to have some experience with real curses and magic you know."  
  
Ryu grumbled while the others laughed.  
  
Hikaru, the gamemaster, then pointed at Ryu, and then at Ranma,  
  
and everyone broke out laughing even harder. It got even worse when Ranma  
  
put her hands under her chin and fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly. He  
  
then said, "You're the only one I know of Ranma, that can make  
  
role-playing something else."  
  
Ranma grinned, "Yeah, I know, and I'm great at it. Now about the  
  
spell point system that we're using, it seems a bit limited since we are  
  
basing it upon a person's knowledge, constitution, and stamina. I know it  
  
doesn't work that way in real life, heck, martial arts doesn't work that  
  
way in real life, at least not at the higher levels."  
  
Ryu nodded, "Yeah, and if anyone should know, it's Saotome. His  
  
life is filled with all sorts of strange things happening."  
  
"Problem is, it would be hard to fit into the current game  
  
system." Sakura mused from where she was sitting. "We'd have to tear it  
  
apart and revise the damn thing, not to mention making new spells to take  
  
everything into account."  
  
"It's better that we do it now than later," commented Kenchiro as  
  
he looked over the printouts he had. "The only way to confirm the system  
  
that we are going to code is to test it out, and that means changing  
  
things before we go any further and creating internal blind spots."  
  
Everyone groaned, and Ranma sighed. Just when she was about to  
  
take out the sorcerer who had created those pools of sorrow...  
  
***  
  
Cologne frowned as she went into her sanctum. It was hard to  
  
imagine that anything would be wrong with Ranma, but the possibility could  
  
not be denied. Physical problems were laughable, especially at the rate  
  
Ranma learned techniques, or how he could hide the amount he was holding  
  
back against all of his opponents. He even managed to hide his true power  
  
from her!  
  
To Cologne, the real question was what could be wrong in Ranma's  
  
upbringing by his cowardly father.  
  
Cologne had given up on getting Ranma for her tribe quite a while  
  
ago. He was stubborn, egotistical, did not want to be held down, and had a  
  
lot of problems with honour thanks to that no good father. As far as she  
  
was concerned, Genma was thinking with only one thing, his stomach. Why  
  
else would he make a deal with Ukyou's father for just a yatai, or teach  
  
his son that eating and martial arts were the be all and end all of life?  
  
That attitude was probably what was wrong with Ranma.  
  
Then again, her granddaughter was not making things any easier.  
  
The foolish girl was scheming, underhanded, and obviously not  
  
thinking of the future as she kept thinking that her own culture was the  
  
only one that mattered. The worst, absolute worst, deed she had done was  
  
to try and break up the marriage between Ranma and Akane, not realizing  
  
that in this country they could already be married, the couple just had  
  
not completed the public ceremonies. After almost a year in this country,  
  
Shampoo kept showing her ignorance and unwillingness to learn.  
  
Admittedly, she had originally come to this country with Shampoo,  
  
thinking that Ranma just needed a little bit of encouragement, and that he  
  
would recognize the laws that he had inadvertently crossed. Cologne was  
  
not against plotting, or doing something that could lead to more for  
  
Shampoo, but she had at least made an effort to learn the laws and culture  
  
that she was living in. She had also believed that the boy had been told  
  
of the laws both times, when he had been confronted by Shampoo in the  
  
village, and then later when he had 'defeated' Shampoo as a male.  
  
It was Shampoo's failure to tell the girl of the law, or even  
  
confirming the consequences when confronting Ranma the first time that led  
  
to her being retrained at Jusenkyo. It was only when she came back to  
  
China had it been learned that the girl only battled the winner of the  
  
tournament thinking that it was a battle over food, which it should have  
  
been. To have later learned that Shampoo had lied about how Ranma had won  
  
the match in male form, and to have not explained the circumstances first,  
  
which would have required Ranma to make a formal challenge, was worse.   
  
If this was learned about back in the village, Shampoo would be locked in  
  
her cursed form.  
  
No, it would do no good to take Ranma back to China, which is why  
  
she did not interfere with the boy coming back to Japan when she had ample  
  
opportunity to keep him in the country, and in the village.  
  
Besides, even if the law had been followed properly, Ranma would  
  
be the worst possible person to have in the village, especially since  
  
trouble followed him like a magnet. Pantyhose Taro who would constantly  
  
challenge him in some deluded belief that this would get Happousai to  
  
change his name, ghosts coming around to disturb the boy, and strange  
  
challenges that no seemingly rational person would accept. To top it off,  
  
the Japanese seemed to take all of this in stride as normal!  
  
Why else would they not complain to the authorities about that  
  
Kuno family, with the boy making ludicrous statements that no one actually  
  
believed, the daughter using dangerous items that could cause innocents to  
  
die, and the father who wanted to torment everyone with a very bad  
  
haircut. Or worse yet, allow Happousai to live for the most part  
  
peacefully even though everyone, even the government, knew where he lived.  
  
No, despite what her daughter, granddaughters, and  
  
great-granddaughters, as well as others in the village thought, the  
  
Japanese were not backwards people with no respect for others. The  
  
warriors in this small section of Japan, a small, virtually unnoticeable  
  
and unremarkable district of Tokyo were extremely strong, with many being  
  
able to defeat the entire village without having to resort to special  
  
techniques that were within their own culture. Thankfully her  
  
great-granddaughter had never run into that 'Nuku-Nuku' girl from Akie's  
  
because Cologne had seen the girl take on an attack helicopter and win.   
  
Cologne doubted her own chances at surviving at a distance.  
  
The manga and anime that the Japanese created were mild in  
  
comparison to what went on in the district every day.  
  
If they brought Ranma to the village by force, or even made him  
  
angry in any small way, the Joketsuzoku would cease to exist. He would  
  
have to be kept either drugged and helpless, or given control of the  
  
village, which would be unthinkable by the hidebound council. Anyone who  
  
believed that Ranma, the person who killed Saffron, would be happy in a  
  
small village with very few modern conveniences was crazy. To that end,  
  
Cologne was more concerned with making friendly contacts, teaching Ranma  
  
and any of his friends whenever they wanted to learn, and try to  
  
understand the Japanese people and why they thought the unusual normal.  
  
As for Ranma, the boy was annoying at times, but he was brilliant,  
  
if anyone actually took the time to see what he was doing. No, if there  
  
was a problem with Ranma, then it would have to be in his upbringing, and  
  
the fact that his father treated women as objects and not people. Given  
  
this, and how shy, and scared of contact with girls who were overly  
  
affectionate, despite his curse, he would not accept being trapped in that  
  
manner. Admittedly, he had reason to be that way, given how every girl he  
  
met seemed to want to throw herself at him. She was quite sure that if  
  
the current four girls were not martial artists, he would have more after  
  
him.  
  
No, for the sake of peace, she would have to take a hand in this,  
  
although not in the way Shampoo would like. She would need to find some  
  
way to create a public marriage ceremony for the boy, and from the looks  
  
of it, it would have to be with Akane. There was no way she would come  
  
between Ranma and that girl!  
  
Besides, it would also allow her to remain in Japan, and she did  
  
like all of the amenities, especially videogames.  
  
With that thought, Cologne unlocked her private cabinet, turned on  
  
the television, and selected her favourite game. An RPG featuring three  
  
young girls who happened to be the saviours of another, magical, planet...  
  
***  
  
Sakura grinned suddenly. The perfect way to get Ranma to notice  
  
her had just popped into her head! If she used a variation LHA compression  
  
format series and applied that to the text of the RPG they were working  
  
on, they could get the whole thing under 2 Megs, and it would only add  
  
about 40 Kb to the size of the main program, 64 if she was designing it to  
  
perform on the fly decoding with the help of a mini-database. This was a  
  
way to show the most egotistical programmer of their juku that he wasn't  
  
the best.  
  
Misa rolled her eyes as she saw Sakura's expression. "Only one  
  
thing could cause that. You've thought of a way to best Saotome."  
  
Sakura nodded in excitement as she sipped her drink. "Yep! It's  
  
the perfect way to show 'his arrogance' that he's not the only programmer  
  
around!"  
  
"You sure that it isn't just another way to get him to go out with  
  
you?"  
  
Sakura started to cough as a bit of her drink went down the wrong  
  
way. "Me?!? After that arrogant bastard? You've got to be kidding."  
  
Misa shook her head, "Ranma is a bit rough around the edges, but  
  
he's always a perfect gentleman. And you know how many girls are already  
  
after him, and they have no idea of what he can really do. How many more  
  
girls do you think would be after him if they knew his real skills?"  
  
"A lot..." Sakura sighed. Misa was correct about her reasons for  
  
trying to better Ranma. "Look, he respects people who do their best, no  
  
matter what. He wants someone who can think, or act, or do something that  
  
is their best, and will always try to better themselves. It's the reason  
  
he keeps with that Tendo Akane, despite how she treats him. All I'm doing  
  
is giving him a reason to look elsewhere, not trying to force him to look  
  
at me."  
  
"That is not how you grab a man you know."  
  
"So? It's the best way to work with him. There are already too  
  
many 'enthusiastic' girls after him and trying to force him to lose his  
  
virginity. How would you like it if boys were trying to force you to lose  
  
your virginity?"  
  
"Show me where those boys are so I can!"  
  
"MISA!!!!"  
  
***  
  
The Next Day...  
  
Ranma sighed happily on the way to school. Everything seemed  
  
right, and with the day being so peaceful, he could concentrate on a few  
  
more things, although he still had to be careful of Shampoo. Then again,  
  
his luck would never hold that long.  
  
Of course, what Ranma considered peaceful would be what others  
  
considered violent.  
  
The day started off well, with his father, for once, asking to  
  
spar instead of tossing him out the window. He managed not to get dunked  
  
in the pond, but also refused to do the same to his father, and with his  
  
mother's presence, especially her looking directly at his father several  
  
times, Ranma did not have to protect his food. Ranma and Akane were  
  
getting along, at least no words of war had been exchanged as of yet, and  
  
even Nabiki was being nice. Of course, it could have something to do with  
  
his mother wanting to go out somewhere with him this evening, but it  
  
seemed Ranma spent very little time with his mother.  
  
Amazingly enough, he made it to school without Shampoo being along  
  
the way, no Ukyou, and even more amazingly, no Kuno at the gates. Ranma  
  
blinked, grabbed his arm, pinched to make sure, and blinked again.   
  
Despite that test, he felt as though he was dreaming. No way could the  
  
day be going that well. In fact, there was no way that anyone could have  
  
as good a day as he'd been having.  
  
Ranma frowned suddenly. *It can't last. Nabiki being nice, the  
  
day going well, and not a single argument with Akane. I better be extra  
  
careful today, since it could be more dangerous than ever.*  
  
His eyes boggled when Akane grabbed his hand and pulled him gently  
  
towards class, and there wasn't an explosion. Ranma then noticed NABIKI  
  
smiling and nodding in satisfaction. He looked around franticly, and saw  
  
everyone with smiles on their faces, not paying attention to what was  
  
happening, and not even noticing how close Akane was to him. It was  
  
wrong! Unnatural! It couldn't be happening! He had to be asleep!  
  
*Yes! Asleep! That had to be it! No way could any of this  
  
happen without a lot of people staring, or looking on, or making a bet, or  
  
anything. And I _know_ it has to be a dream since Nabiki is smiling at  
  
Akane holding my hand without trying to make some sort of money off of it.   
  
Well, since this is a dream, might as well enjoy it.* Ranma thought to  
  
himself, not realizing the problems that his actions were about to  
  
cause...  
  
***  
  
English Class:  
  
"Ranma, would you please read article twenty-seven and give us  
  
your interpretation of the described events, and what this means for the  
  
general populace of Japan. Also, I want you to write the definition of  
  
word twelve in paragraph three on the board for the class." Hinako-Sensei  
  
said as she prepared herself for another bad reading. The boy was one of  
  
the worst at English that she knew of, and could barely get the shapes of  
  
Romanji correct a lot of the time, so she didn't expect much. Still,  
  
foreign language studies were required, and she somehow had to drill it  
  
into his head in the next two years.  
  
Ranma looked at the word first, before he started to read, and  
  
came up to the board. Fortunately, it was a word that he was familiar  
  
with, especially since the definitions were a bit unusual; he'd had to  
  
look it up before. That he had to get such an easy word to write the  
  
definition to in his first class of the day was proof that it was a dream.   
  
No matter what happened for the rest of the day, he'd take it in stride.  
  
*Might as well have fun with this, especially since I would never be able  
  
to get away with it in real life without a protest!*  
  
Variable: Anything which may change and thus change the outcome of a  
  
given circumstance. In context, a named container that can hold a value  
  
consisting of a character string of any length. The variable can be  
  
created by applying a name and placing the value within with a put, place,  
  
or input command.  
  
Hinako-Sensei boggled at the fact that Ranma had written, and  
  
expanded upon, an English definition without looking at a dictionary,  
  
book, or reference guide, and the fact that the Definition was written in  
  
Romanji, and in ENGLISH! She almost fainted, but kept pinching herself  
  
behind her back as Ranma then turned around, and started to read the  
  
article, without problems, and like an American. This was a dream. It  
  
had to be a dream. Nothing else made sense.  
  
Math Class  
  
The Sensei was amazed, confused, and absolutely happy!  
  
Ranma, the worst student in the class, was answering every  
  
question correctly! He had even gone through several quadratics without a  
  
problem!  
  
"Saotome-kun, I would like you to come up to the board and  
  
demonstrate the solution to the equation that I have placed there."  
  
As Ranma stepped up to the board, and went into the mathematical  
  
proof that showed how one was equal with negative one, he smiled wider.   
  
The proof required knowledge of calculus, topology, and dimensional  
  
variance. Since Ranma could do this, then he was a genius, and since he  
  
had not demonstrated such abilities before, it had to be thanks to His,  
  
Aida-Sensei's, teachings.  
  
He cried tears of joy as he stated, "Absolutely correct,  
  
Saotome-san!"  
  
Sociology Class:  
  
"...given the upheaval caused by modern society, and how our  
  
people have reacted at times, Japan seems to have a tendency to acquire  
  
mannerisms slowly, as is evidenced by the strength of 'Rock and Roll' from  
  
the American and British mid 50's to mid 60's era as opposed to the modern  
  
'Punk Rock' currently the issue in North America. This is not to say that  
  
the trend is not followed, however, as there must be some manner of  
  
adaptation, as our society would easily stagnate.  
  
"Examples of this adaptation are plentiful when we compare it to  
  
American culture, especially since we have been brought up in a manner  
  
conversant with conservation of resources. Our society recycles and  
  
reprocesses every little bit that we can due to our limited resources as  
  
compared to the small recycling effort of the Americans with their  
  
plentiful resources. We adapted to an area of the globe with few  
  
resources by learning how to recycle. Now, how does this apply to the  
  
social context of society and business and the relationship of a  
  
recognized 'Feudal' society as represented by Japan versus a 'Democratic  
  
Republic' such as the United States?  
  
"The answer is quite simple, as our culture has already adapted  
  
the 'Feudal' model of society as a semi-rigid structure and cross-pasted  
  
democratic processes, already in place in the lower levels of society, as  
  
a means of satisfying the American military and cultural forces who wished  
  
to cause an upheaval similar to, and with the same intent, that the  
  
cultural upheaval by the European Christian elements caused in Native  
  
North American Society. Further, by having the model applied to business,  
  
especially with a military approach to the subject, as Sun Tzu is still  
  
required reading to everyone involved in Japan's economic prosperity, this  
  
has allowed us to prevent Americans from 'culling' our society as was  
  
attempted by the French to the Vietnamese people prior to World War II..."  
  
The class was amazed as Saotome went on, but no one wanted to  
  
interrupt him. Ranma usually slept in class, never said a word, barely  
  
passed his courses, and reacted to everything with a physical reaction  
  
rather than an intelligent one. A few of the braver ones in back of Ranma  
  
were staring at him, then Akane who had been surprisingly silent, and then  
  
back at Ranma.  
  
Ranma, being this knowledgeable and intelligent?  
  
It was either a dream or the world was coming to an end.  
  
Computer Class:  
  
The teacher was amazed at the speed with which Ranma typed, and  
  
the fact that he had finished his assignment in five minutes after the  
  
class started, when he was sure that Ranma could hardly turn on the  
  
machine without an accident was nothing short of amazing! Surreptiously,  
  
he started to check the network to see if something happened. He would  
  
not be surprised if something like that American movie happened to Ranma.   
  
Given the strangeness, it would be just like the boy to be able to absorb  
  
the entire knowledge and the database of a mainframe through an electrical  
  
accident. If not here, then somewhere. It was the only possible  
  
explanation for the boy being THIS good.  
  
***  
  
Ranma sighed happily. It was a good dream so far. Nice and  
  
peaceful, no one bugging him with unwanted questions, and not being  
  
splashed with cold water at the most unexpected times. Ukyou was friendly  
  
without mentioning the engagement, Kuno was nowhere to be seen, Akane was  
  
friendly and did not try to feed him, and now it was time to go home and  
  
spend some time with his mom. How could things get any better?  
  
To Be Continued... 


	2. What's Good for the Gander

"Where do you want to go, Mom?" Ranma asked as the two of them  
  
left the house.  
  
Nodoka smiled, and then decided to tease her son a bit. "I thought  
  
we'd go downtown and have dinner, and then do some shopping. You have  
  
enough boys' clothing for now, and I would like to see my daughter dressed  
  
in something better, and acting less like a tomboy."  
  
*Yep, my subconscious is really acting up. No way would Mom smile  
  
like that and say that I'm her daughter. Guess I must be feeling guilty  
  
over the way I treated Mom when I was Ranko, and the fact that I ended up  
  
'stealing' the daughter she never had when I finally revealed myself to  
  
her. Well, might as well play along. If I remember this, it may make a  
  
good scenario for our role-playing games.* Ranma thought to himself. "Can  
  
you give me a few minutes then, Mom? I need to go and change."  
  
Nodoka blinked at that, especially when Ranma rushed back in the  
  
house. Ranma was definitely not acting like himself. She had at least  
  
expected some kind of denials that he wasn't her daughter, not her son  
  
rushing back in the house to get changed. Of course, it could be that he  
  
was tired of denying that he was a girl every day, or he could be doing  
  
something to test her resolve. How could Ranma test her by changing into  
  
nicer clothing was the thought she had.  
  
When Ranma came back down wearing an outfit that Nodoka thought  
  
she'd never see on him again, she was shocked. Ranma's hair was down from  
  
the pigtail, and redone into a nice ponytail, a small hat on her head,  
  
black leggings, mini-skirt, blouse, and vest. She was carrying a small  
  
purse, and got a small bottle of water out of the refrigerator. "I'm  
  
ready to go, Mom. Hope we can get more outfits like this one."  
  
Nodoka blinked slowly and decided to play along. Laying her hand  
  
across the girls' shoulder she said, "Of course, daughter. That's much  
  
better than what you were wearing before, and I'm glad that you are  
  
dropping the tomboy look. It's definitely time you grew up."  
  
Ranma smiled as she led the way out of the house, *Well, if I had  
  
any doubts before, this ruins them. Mom wanting me as a daughter is  
  
crazy, and since she seems to want me as one, might as well have fun with  
  
it. If I can force the circumstances of the dream the right way, maybe I  
  
can become that 'magical girl' character I'm working on, and get some idea  
  
for monsters or something.*  
  
Nodoka looked on in wonder from behind Ranma. Maybe she was right  
  
and it was the curse that was affecting Ranma. She had felt the bra  
  
strap, knowing that her son hated wearing those, even if she needed it at  
  
times. Well, maybe it was time to test that theory out, and she had just  
  
the store to visit to do so. If her son refused to have anything to do  
  
with girls, perhaps it was time to see if her daughter had any problems  
  
with...  
  
Sexual Endeavours  
  
Part Two:  
  
What's Good for the Gander...  
  
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2  
  
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun,  
  
Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo,  
  
Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Si, Cologne, Ke Lun, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi,  
  
Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2001 by Takahashi  
  
Rumiko.  
  
Publishing rights:Japan by Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo  
  
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
  
North America by Viz Inc.  
  
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi  
  
Akane sat at the table, hardly moving, and wondering what,  
  
exactly, happened at school. It was like an unbelievable dream, a good  
  
one where her fiancé, Ranma, was a smart, brilliant man with a mind that  
  
rivalled others. There was one problem with the dream theory, however.   
  
Akane knew that she had been awake for the surprising show.  
  
No one had mentioned it. They were scared to since it might mean  
  
that they would be brought into this weirdness, but it had obviously  
  
unnerved them. No one was willing to admit to that fear, or try to stop  
  
Ranma if he suddenly turned violent. *That wasn't Ranma. It couldn't  
  
have been Ranma. Ranma would have tried almost anything to sleep in class  
  
or goof off in some manner, not pay attention to the teachers.   
  
That...that person was extremely well prepared, giving speeches, knowing  
  
mathematics far beyond anything we've been thought, and being fluent in  
  
English. Ranma doesn't know English! He hardly knows Japanese, and is  
  
much less fluent in Chinese, which is a hell of a lot closer to our  
  
language. Could that have been an impostor?*  
  
She frowned slightly, still trying to think out everything. *It  
  
started on the way to school, without Shampoo showing up. Next Kuno was  
  
missing, and it's unlikely he would miss a chance to see me or his  
  
'pigtailed girl'. Then Ukyou was nice, not even mentioning the engagement  
  
as she usually does, although at the time I assumed it was because of fear  
  
of the unknown. Ranma then starts acting as if he was a Juku student  
  
instead of his usual 'All I Need To Know Is Martial Arts' attitude. It's  
  
as though someone replaced Ranma with a copy, but a flawed one which  
  
thought too much and is too intelligent. He has to be an impostor, but if  
  
this person is an impostor, where is the real Ranma?*  
  
*Perhaps the better question to ask is who could have replaced  
  
Ranma with this...person.* Akane thought as she began to build a list of  
  
names in her head which included Shampoo, Cologne, Happousai, or any  
  
number of others. Of course, it included Kodachi and excluded Tatewaki,  
  
but then again, Kodachi was the intelligent one.  
  
"I've been hearing weird things about Ranma since after school,  
  
Akane. Want to tell me what it is about, and who the new challenger is?"   
  
Nabiki drawled as she came to sit at the table.  
  
Akane gasped and blinked rapidly. She was so caught up in  
  
thinking of what may have happened that she never noticed her sister come  
  
home. "The person who was in class wasn't Ranma, at least I don't think  
  
so. It had to be an impostor of some kind."  
  
Nabiki raised an eyebrow, "Someone who could impersonate Ranma?   
  
Do you know how unlikely that sounds?"  
  
"I know what it sounds like, Nabiki," Akane continued, "But how  
  
else can you explain Ranma knowing English, Mathematics, giving well  
  
thought out speeches, and not fighting."  
  
Akane's eyes widened, "Not fighting...That person didn't get into  
  
one fight today, he didn't insult me, he didn't even make a wrong,  
  
pigheaded, or condescending comment to anyone all day!"  
  
Nabiki spit out her tea. Ranma, not stick his foot in his mouth  
  
at least once for the entire day? "Akane, that's impossible. Ranma may  
  
be an upstanding young man, but he's a thoughtless, slightly idiotic,  
  
upstanding young man."  
  
"Nabiki, I need you to find out if Ranma has been kidnapped, and  
  
if he has, who did it. If that was Ranma, it wasn't the Ranma we know and  
  
it could just be some passing weirdness. If it wasn't Ranma, then we need  
  
to go rescue him."  
  
Nabiki frowned. It seems some of the rumours were true, at least  
  
of a Ranma that was acting extremely odd from what everyone knew about  
  
him. First his mother wants to know about Ranma's seeming inability to  
  
have a normal male mind concerning sex. Now Akane thinks Ranma is too  
  
kind, considerate, and intelligent to be himself. The next thing she knew  
  
people would be telling her that the big lug had more potential to earn an  
  
income than her! "I'll look into it, for free. If this isn't Ranma, then  
  
my biggest source of income has flown out the window, and I want him  
  
back."  
  
Akane smiled, "Let's see if he's in his room."  
  
"She's not home, Akane." Kasumi said as she came into the room  
  
with some more tea. "She got dressed and went out with her mother for  
  
diner and to go shopping."  
  
Both of Soun's younger daughters boggled at this thought. Ranma,  
  
willing to go shopping with his mother? The man who hated to be in any  
  
store longer than five minutes?  
  
"What was she wearing?" Asked Nabiki slowly.  
  
"Oh, that nice mini-skirt outfit Aunt Nodoka bought for her a  
  
while back. You know the one Akane, it was when you both outgrew your  
  
bra's and had to look for new ones."  
  
Akane gasped upon breathing in tea the wrong way, and looked at  
  
Nabiki, "I don't think I'll be around for supper this evening."  
  
Nabiki nodded slightly, "Neither will I. There is something that I  
  
need to do."  
  
Both girls tried to be casual about it, but as soon as they got to  
  
the street they started running. Ranma, going with his mother dressed as  
  
a girl? It had to be an impostor, or a magical clone, or something. It  
  
might even have been a case of some demon possessing the boy, and they had  
  
to find out.  
  
Kasumi blinked as she picked up the teacups her sisters left  
  
behind, "I hope that wasn't because of something I said."  
  
***  
  
Mousse was grumbling from the roof of the Nekohanten. He had  
  
learned, from observation, that Ranma was not one to annoy past a certain  
  
point. Of course, if he had known what Ranma was able to do, that he was  
  
able to defeat a Pheonix by killing it's body, then he would never have  
  
originally challenged him. Ranma was power incarnate.  
  
He thought back to seeing a human, one who did not have any Divine  
  
Lineage, Dragon Blood, or Pheonix Infusion, take on an immortal who was  
  
considered a God and win. There were other 'Pheonix', the lesser birds  
  
who did not have the powers of rebirth, but for one to take on a being who  
  
could incinerate the planet and win was beyond comprehension. In an  
  
earlier age, Saotome Ranma would have been considered a God, or a  
  
Demi-God, such as Herakles had been.  
  
To have been fighting such power in his pursuit of Shan Pu...  
  
Shuddering would have been too easy to contemplate.  
  
Looking down at the street, he stared, took off his glasses,  
  
cleaned them, put them back on, and stared again.  
  
He was seeing things. He had to have been. Perhaps it was time  
  
to see an eye doctor in this country, get some new glasses or perhaps  
  
those contact lenses he had heard about, if they did not interfere with  
  
his curse. Yes, a new lighter, and much more flattering pair of glasses  
  
would be the best thing he could do for himself, instead of these that  
  
were provided by those Canadian aid workers. Perhaps that way illusions,  
  
such as what he saw below, could be forever banished.  
  
After all, he knew of Genma's 'Man Among Men' promise and what it  
  
would mean, so there was no way that he was seeing Ranma, of all people,  
  
female, dressed as a very modern young girl in a miniskirt, with his  
  
mother, who would more than likely take his head if he appeared that way.  
  
Dropping into the alley behind the Nekohanten, Mousse looked at  
  
the building. *No, not tonight. I can't put up with the usual crap to  
  
prove myself to a woman who has no idea what love really is. Stupid laws.   
  
They're so damned outdated and illogical. Why can't those hidebound old  
  
women become a part of this century. I've got to get away for a while,  
  
anywhere to forget what's been happening. The bar would be the best place  
  
to go for now.*  
  
The young Master of Hidden Weapons left, expecting to spend a few  
  
thousand, perhaps as much as one hundred thousand, yen on a good tasting  
  
liquor, with as high an alcohol content as was possible.  
  
***  
  
Ryouga looked at the sign in front of him, blinked, checked the  
  
GPS unit once more, and sighed.  
  
"Figures," he muttered, depressed. "When I want to find Akari's,  
  
I end up at the Dojo. Even this technological wonder can't help my sense  
  
of direction."  
  
Ryouga opened the gate and went in, deciding that since he was in  
  
the neighbourhood, he might as well stop by and say hello. Maybe Ranma  
  
could help him figure out what was wrong, since he bought the unit.   
  
Perhaps he input the wrong co-ordinates or something, since he and Ranma  
  
had gone around writing down all the places Ryouga considered important,  
  
such as his home, the Dojo, Akari's, and the school. Ryouga confirmed the  
  
co-ordinates himself, so it was the only explanation.  
  
He knocked on the door frame before entering, "Hello, is anyone  
  
home?"  
  
Kasumi came out of the kitchen, "Oh, hello Ryouga-kun, no one is  
  
home at the moment, but if you would like to wait, I can prepare some  
  
tea."  
  
Ryouga smiled. Kasumi was always so nice to everyone, to the  
  
point where people thought that she was absolutely clueless to what  
  
happened around her. Of course, having spent so much time around the  
  
Dojo, he knew differently, "Thank-you Kasumi, I would appreciate that."  
  
While he was waiting, he decided to look at the co-ordinate on the  
  
GPS and compare it to the written co-ordinates he had. The co-ordinates  
  
for Akari's matched, so he looked at the unit, wondering if it could be  
  
broken. Since there was no obvious damage, he tried inputting other  
  
co-ordinates, such as Ukyou's or the Nekohanten. All of them said that he  
  
had arrived.  
  
"The Deities must hate me." Ryouga said as he looked at the unit  
  
which had been his hope of actually getting places. "Either that, or  
  
someone, somewhere, is trying to tell me something."  
  
"What was that Ryouga-kun?"  
  
Ryouga clutched at his chest for a second. Damn she was quiet  
  
when she wanted to be. "Nothing Kasumi, do you know where Ranma went?"  
  
Kasumi smiled pleasantly, "Ranma-chan went out with her mother,  
  
they should be back after their shopping trip, since both of them were  
  
talking about getting some new outfits so she wouldn't be much of a tomboy  
  
anymore."  
  
Ryouga sipped his tea slowly, trying not to panic. His sense of  
  
direction really did it this time, he was in another universe, one without  
  
the GPS satellites in orbit. It was the only explanation for Ranma going  
  
shopping with _HER_ mother in order to become less of a tomboy...  
  
***  
  
If it had been in character, Ranma would have laughed long and  
  
loud at the sight of the store her mother wanted to shop in. Ok, she was  
  
only thinking of putting in something like this, although it was a little  
  
bit perverted, but for her dreams to pursue this. Well, she was used to  
  
unusual dreams, and it may also give her some ideas for the second, hidden  
  
story, not that she would tell the others until it was ready for the final  
  
compile.  
  
Shaking her head a little, and desperately keeping a smile from  
  
her face, Ranma followed her mother into the most unusual store she would  
  
ever go into.  
  
"Ranma-chan, now that you are a young woman, I think it's time we  
  
get you something for when you get married, and to help you out when your  
  
husband ignores you." Nodoka said, a small smile on her lips. If she was  
  
wrong about her daughter, her sons deception would be exposed. Either  
  
way, she would get what she wanted in the end. Grandchildren.  
  
"Mother," Ranma began, "Are you sure we should go in there with so  
  
many people around?"  
  
"Are you afraid of going in Ranma?"  
  
Ok, how to play this, the bold, full of life woman who thinks  
  
nothing of sex, or the shy, demure, girl who her mother would be shocked  
  
if she went in willingly. Well, her character was supposed to be a nice  
  
girl, so..."Well, a little bit. I mean the classes at school were  
  
embarrassing, and to enter so brazenly...It's unseemly for a young woman."  
  
Nodoka blinked, then blinked again. Ranma, her child, admitting  
  
fear? "It will be all right. Besides, it's better than coming in here  
  
with your boyfriend."  
  
Ranma giggled, "I suppose you're right, Mom. I can just imagine  
  
what he'd think of me."  
  
Nodoka was slightly shocked at that admission. *Perhaps I should  
  
think of changing the engagement, if I can find the boy that my daughter  
  
likes. Otherwise, I could just open it up and see which boy...person, can  
  
win my daughters heart. It may not be wise to engage her to the first boy  
  
that catches her eye.*  
  
***  
  
Around the corner from the store, both Akane's and Nabiki's eyes  
  
were wide open in shock. They still couldn't believe what they heard, and  
  
it was obvious that Ranma's mother believed that she was a girl. Still,  
  
Ranma, their Ranma, _HAD_ _A_ _BOYFRIEND_!?!?!  
  
"I want his name Nabiki. I want to know who the pervert is that  
  
is taking advantage of _MY_ Ranma-chan!" Akane growled out. "Forget the  
  
impostor bit, if Ranma is thinking of having a boyfriend, it has to be  
  
some kind of magic potion or something. Like the time Ryouga wanted  
  
Ranma, or perhaps like Kuno's wishing sword. Either way, I _will_ _kill_  
  
the pervert, and you're going to help me!"  
  
Nabiki could only nod, although she didn't really hear what she  
  
was agreeing to. *Masaka! It has to be the curse, or Ranma's father  
  
really screwed up his mind. Given what his father put him through, it's  
  
probably the later. What kind of horror, or hell, did he put his child  
  
through? Could he have molested Ranma in some way to cause this and his  
  
girl form is really part of a separate personality?*  
  
"I'm going to find the pervert. Let's see. The possibilities are  
  
Happousai, Kuno, Ryouga, that damned kissing pervert who skates, the guys  
  
who tried to marry Ranma, or perhaps someone new. I don't care how long  
  
it takes, I'll kill him for trying to take _MY_ Ranma away from me."   
  
Akane continued to grumble, wanting more than anything to see what Ranma  
  
was up to in that sex shop.  
  
Nabiki shook her head to clear it. She had to find out exactly  
  
what was happening, not only for Nodoka's sake, or Ranma's, but for the  
  
peace of Nerima. If this was learned, by anyone, the whole district could  
  
go up in flames as angry fiancés tried to interrogate innocent boys. If  
  
that happened, all bets were off as far as the government was concerned.   
  
If Akane learned of...  
  
Nabiki winced, as she finally heard what Akane was saying.   
  
*Perhaps the best thing to hope for is some damage control...*  
  
***  
  
Ranma looked around, and kept her eyes shinning as though she was  
  
a five year old in a candy store. She had seen most of this stuff before,  
  
hell, thanks to Nabiki's picture sessions, she had more lingerie and  
  
intimate apparel than most girls. The first rack she went to were of some  
  
delicate sets of almost see through intimates, and decided to play her  
  
role to the hilt. "Mom, can I have a few of these?"  
  
"Well, daughter, we'll look those over after we see what's in this  
  
cabinet." Nodoka replied, indicating a display case.  
  
Ranma looked at what was inside and almost lost control. "Those  
  
are...large, Mom. Are they sculptures of some kind?"  
  
"No dear, they are meant to be used by a girl when her husband is  
  
away."  
  
Ranma looked again, "Are you sure? I mean, the size of those, I  
  
don't think they'd fit."  
  
Nodoka's eyebrows raised. Admittedly she pointed out devices that  
  
were very large, but for her daughter to even indicate that they were too  
  
large told her that she was no longer a virgin. She'd definitely have to  
  
look for the boy Ranma wanted to marry, "Well, our bodies can accommodate  
  
more than you would think daughter. How about I choose one for you to use  
  
whenever you are feeling a bit needy?"  
  
"Ok," Ranma replied, indicating the rear of the store. "I want to  
  
see what's back there."  
  
Curious herself, Nodoka followed her daughter, and saw what was in  
  
back. Well, if her daughter was a lady, she wouldn't want any of this.   
  
In fact, it would limit the number of men that her daughter could find as  
  
a mate.  
  
Ranma looked on at all of the leather armour hanging on the walls.   
  
Chest plates, skirts, face masks, just what a magical girl needed. In  
  
fact, she could use this as a place where magical girls went to get their  
  
uniforms and costumes made! "Mom, can I get some of this?"  
  
Nodoka almost fainted at hearing those words. "O..of course, dear.   
  
We just need to make sure they fit correctly."  
  
Ranma wasted little time in cornering a salesperson, and striping  
  
down to her panties and bra in order to get a custom made set of armour.   
  
Looking around, she began to get some ideas of what she wanted, such as  
  
that one piece bit of armour that would be something like a swimsuit, the  
  
boots would be a nice addition, but without those thin, high heels, maybe  
  
some lower, wider heels, and a wider area for her toes, and a split  
  
leather skirt would be good. Soon, she was in full discussion with the  
  
sales person about what she wanted, and the possibilities involved, such  
  
as gloves, mask, whips, chains, etc.  
  
Nodoka just stood there, until she decided to head back to the  
  
outer section of the store, going towards the magazine racks. *Books. I  
  
need books and information on this...lifestyle my daughter has chosen.   
  
Maybe then I can figure out which one of the boys she knows likes her like  
  
this, and I can set a meeting with his parents. To imagine, my daughter  
  
likes to control men like that! At least this way she won't make the same  
  
mistakes I did with Genma.*  
  
***  
  
Ukyou was worried. Not that was anything new, considering she ran  
  
her own business, went to school, participated in various adventures, and  
  
was beginning to get an idea of what life could be like when she married  
  
Ranma. Then again, she wasn't usually worried about the man she loved,  
  
since he was so buff, and tight, and looked so...  
  
She faded off into a small fantasy, one that had become more  
  
frequent in the past few weeks. While she had originally been fantasizing  
  
about Ranma as a husband, taking care of the children as she made money,  
  
or less often, sharing the lifestyle of a travelling chef, recent events  
  
had her thinking along the lines of how he'd be in bed, or if Ranma's girl  
  
form would scream when...extremely excited. While Ukyou did think of  
  
Ranma as a boy, some of the time, she had easily recognized that being  
  
legally male, and Ranma's penchant for water, that having a wife would  
  
actually be a good thing. And it provided so many wonderful and  
  
entertaining possibilities as well.  
  
Shaking off her thoughts, at least on how well she could satisfy  
  
her eventual wife in bed, Ukyou started to think about what happened at  
  
school. While Ranma was her friend, and hopefully, her life mate, the  
  
life he led was stranger than most in Japan could ever hope to match, and  
  
what happened today was, to her, an indicator that Ranma was just about  
  
ready to leave Nerima, possibly for good. Being the only one who actually  
  
listened to Ranma most of the time, barring her fits of jealousy, she  
  
already knew Ranma was hiding a lot.  
  
Like most, she had assumed that Ranma was hiding his fighting  
  
prowess, and using all of the battles with Happousai, Cologne, Kuno,  
  
Ryouga, and the rest as a way of improving his martial arts. Then again,  
  
Ranma's mind was like a high end government computer, dedicated only to  
  
battle. She had probably been the only one in English to notice that  
  
Ranma had given a definition that was not in their standard translation  
  
dictionary, and it wasn't until computer class that she managed to read  
  
the definition in the rear of the programming manual. Ranma wasn't really  
  
hiding his abilities in battle, although that seemed to be a good excuse,  
  
he was hiding his abilities in being a very good student.  
  
Thinking about it a lot, it made more sense than most people would  
  
imagine.  
  
First, Ranma's life with his father hardly concentrated on  
  
academics, especially with his travelling all the time. English, being  
  
recognized as one of the International languages important to know, he  
  
would naturally have picked it up. Passing grades in English would be  
  
impossible, unless he was hiding how good he was, and being able to read  
  
in many languages would be an asset, especially since many of the more  
  
unusual techniques were written in various languages, including codes that  
  
were designed only for use by people who knew that school of the art.   
  
This being the case, Ranma would be very familiar with cryptography, and  
  
cryptographic notation, and thus mathematics. To understand situations no  
  
matter where he travelled in the world, a good understanding of geography  
  
and sociology would be required. For people not to have realized that  
  
Ranma would have been held back by several grades if he wasn't very  
  
intelligent meant he had done a significant amount of acting, and knew  
  
people better than anyone else would believe. *But why keep the  
  
engagements up in the air?"  
  
Thinking about that for a little while, she realized that Ranma  
  
was keeping the engagements floating for two good reasons. The first  
  
being honour, not his honour, but everyone else's. If he chose a fiancé  
  
out of the many people after him, then Ranma would be ruining the honour  
  
of others. She remembered Ranma telling her about how the famous 'eating'  
  
competition had happened, and what it had meant for others.  
  
The second reason she could figure out was because he was not  
  
ready to get married yet.  
  
Ranma did not go out on dates, in fact he avoided them, trying not  
  
to hurt others feelings. The only times she knew of that Ranma had agreed  
  
to dating had been because someone had dangled a possible 'cure' in front  
  
of his face. However, it made little sense since Ranma used his female  
  
form just as often as his male form, and was also comfortable with it.   
  
Most of the time, he seemed to be looking for cure for the others than for  
  
himself.  
  
*If Ranma is ready to go somewhere else, the best thing I can do  
  
is talk to Aunt Saotome, and ask her to send Ranma, as a girl, to a  
  
private school where she can become a scientist or teacher. Hell, Ranma  
  
could probably pass the Juken easily at the moment, so it would probably  
  
be a matter of polishing her skills at a good private school. A good  
  
private _boarding_ school, with me being her room mate. That way, I can  
  
get her to relax a bit, not have to push the engagement so much, and  
  
eventually seduce my future wife! It's the perfect plan!*  
  
***  
  
Nodoka paid for everything that Ranma wanted, from the barely  
  
there sleep wear, to the leather outfits which would have to be picked up  
  
at a later date. She had also included several items for her daughter  
  
that she had also picked up, such as what they were looking at before, and  
  
several books for herself. From what she had already read, it could be  
  
any number of the boys that she knew of. *That Tatewaki boy seems to be a  
  
likely candidate since he likes to be hurt by Ranma, thinking it's her way  
  
of showing love. Then again, Ryouga-kun is also a likely possibility,  
  
since he does like fighting Ranma a lot, and that he also tried to get her  
  
by magic. Mu Si could also be a possibility because of his culture, and  
  
the fact that he loses so often, although Ukyou-chan's waitress may be a  
  
possibility because she enjoys being a very submissive young lady instead  
  
of a boy. And it may be someone I don't know about.*  
  
"Mom, are you ok?" Ranma asked, as she looked at her mother.  
  
"Yes, Ranma-chan. Why do you ask?" Nodoka replied while looking  
  
at her daughter with new understanding.  
  
"Because you looked spaced out for a moment." Ranma said. "Is  
  
there something wrong?"  
  
"No dear, I was just thinking about how you would look in your new  
  
leather outfit."  
  
"Yeah! It's great isn't it?" Ranma exclaimed enthusiastically as  
  
she started towards the door. "Who would have guessed they dressed people  
  
in those costumes? Now I know where to get what ever I want when I need  
  
to fight anybody!"  
  
Nodoka almost fell on her face at that statement. *I'm going to  
  
have to make sure I find that boy who took my baby's virginity, and have  
  
him marry her, or open up the competition to anyone who can get her to the  
  
alter. I am _not_ going to have a daughter that wants to greet every  
  
person she meets in _that_ outfit, especially in public. It's already bad  
  
enough that she had a specific idea of what she wanted, Ranma will not be  
  
a girl of loose morals!*  
  
***  
  
Akane glared as she watched Ranma leave the store, several bags in  
  
her hand, as well as those bags in Aunt Nodoka's hand. She already knew  
  
that Ranma's mother was a bit of a pervert, especially with her trying to  
  
get Ranma to 'peek' into girls windows. For her to have brought Ranma  
  
here, was just more proof that she needed to get him out of her hands.   
  
*After I find that pervert who's trying to steal Ranma, I am making _sure_  
  
we move and Aunt Nodoka is far away from us. A private boarding school  
  
will do, and then I can show Ranma how a person shows love, in the  
  
_proper_ way. I will _not_ have _my_ fiancé lusting after boys!*  
  
"Akane, calm down and think for a little while. You can't just go  
  
around trying to kill every boy you meet. We have to be cautious and  
  
careful, and then get the boy and talk to him. It will be a lot worse if  
  
you just go off and try to kill him for something that he probably has no  
  
idea about." Nabiki stated while laying a hand on her sisters shoulder.   
  
"Ranma could just have had a hard knock to the head, or it could be  
  
her...his way of coping with the curse."  
  
Akane grunted, and tried to think rationally about it. "You're  
  
right Nabiki, I'll keep my cool, and since you know more about being  
  
sneaky, I'll let you find the pervert. Just let me know who it is, and  
  
help me come up with a way to keep Ranma for myself."  
  
It was the best she could hope for, for now. "I promise little  
  
sister. I will find the boy Ranma's been seeing, and I will tell you who  
  
he is."  
  
Akane however, was thinking a little bit differently. She had  
  
promised not to go after the perverts who could be the ones after Ranma,  
  
but she did not promise not to tell Shampoo and Ukyou. Nor did she  
  
promise not to tell Kodachi, if she could convince her that 'the pig  
  
tailed girl' and Ranma were one and the same. *If I can't confront the  
  
pervert, and beat him up, I'm sure the others would only be too glad to do  
  
so. They may be competition, but they are the _proper_ competition,  
  
unlike any of those pervert boys!*  
  
"Let's go home Akane, I don't think it would be a good idea to be  
  
following her like this, she may get suspicious." Nabiki said while  
  
sighing in relief. With Akane agreeing to let her handle the situation,  
  
things were not as desperate as they might get. She was not willing to  
  
see Nerima's death toll take a sudden sharp climb while her little sister  
  
'investigated' matters herself.  
  
***  
  
In a nearby mansion, a phone rang, and the man sitting at the desk  
  
answered it. When he heard what his informant told him, he knew that, at  
  
least for the next few weeks, his actions and those who were closest to  
  
him, had to change. In a way, the call was not unexpected, given the  
  
confusion in Nerima, but he had hoped his hobbies would last a little  
  
while longer. Pressing a button, he turned to the revealed monitors along  
  
one wall, and searched for the various occupants of the estate. Finding  
  
the people he wanted, he summoned them to his office, despite their  
  
protests.  
  
Yes, someone was out there, dangerous to him and the people he  
  
knew. He did have his suspicions, especially given the way people were  
  
talking. However, now was not the time for what could easily be handled  
  
later. He had time, and that was to his advantage.  
  
***  
  
Ryouga was still smiling, and drinking more tea. Tempting as it  
  
was to run away, as far away as he could get, he knew he couldn't risk it.   
  
If he had, somehow, ended up in another world, then this place was the  
  
only possibility of getting home. Given that, he was unsurprised as Ranma  
  
walked in, looking very pretty. He was not, however, prepared for what  
  
was about to happen.  
  
"Ryouga-kun! You're back! Where were you? Have you eaten? Any  
  
new adventures to talk about?" Ranma exclaimed cutely and  
  
enthusiastically.  
  
Ryouga laughed a bit nervously, "Hi Ranma-chan. You're as bubbly  
  
as ever."  
  
Ranma was having fun with this dream. Ryouga being a friend,  
  
without their usual sparing was something that could be said to have never  
  
happened. Now, how to make this really fun. "At least you're back in  
  
time for our date tomorrow!"  
  
Nodoka raised an eyebrow at this, and narrowed her eyes at the  
  
boy. *Is he the one?*  
  
Ryouga laughed a little more nervously. Kami! In this world he  
  
was Ranma's boyfriend, and from the look Nodoka was giving him, one who  
  
still had to prove himself! "Well, I did try to make it back as fast as  
  
possible, Ranma-chan."  
  
Giggling, more as a way of stopping herself from bursting out  
  
laughing, Ranma gestured to her bags, "I was just shopping, and I've got  
  
to show you what we bought. Wait until you see them on me!"  
  
At this point Nodoka stepped in. Ryouga was definitely suspect in  
  
having sex with her daughter. "Perhaps after your date tomorrow dear.   
  
Right now, I need to talk with Ryouga for a little while. Go and put away  
  
your new clothes and items, and I'll talk with you later."  
  
"Ok, mom." Well, at least her subconscious wasn't being that  
  
perverted. Her mother stepped in at exactly the right time to prevent  
  
everything becoming x-rated.  
  
Ryouga nervously watched Ranma leave the room, and then gulped at  
  
the contained fury on Nodoka's face. "Ehhhh, what do you want to talk  
  
about, Saotome-sama?"  
  
"Walk with me for a while, young man. I believe we have much to  
  
discuss." Nodoka said coldly.  
  
Gulping, Ryouga followed Nodoka out of the house, and hoped that  
  
she was not going to take his life. What kind of cad was the Ryouga of  
  
this universe?  
  
"Ryouga-kun, I need to know if you love my daughter." Nodoka  
  
stated, as they walked out of the gate.  
  
"I...Well...She is a good friend, and I do enjoy being with her.   
  
I'm just not sure we're ready for marriage as of yet," he stated  
  
nervously, "We're still in school, and well, I need to find out if I can  
  
take care of her properly."  
  
Nodoka nodded, it seemed the boy was honourable enough, and was  
  
looking towards the future. "So, will I have to search for you, or will  
  
my daughter be disappointed when you fail to show up _again_."  
  
Ryouga gulped hard. This was not going the way he wanted, and he  
  
was definitely not enjoying this confrontation. His counterpart sounded  
  
like he had disappointed his girlfriend several times, and her mother was  
  
getting tired of it. In a way, it was a not so subtle warning that if her  
  
daughter was not satisfied in every way possible, then he would face her  
  
wrath, probably at the end of her katana. If this is what the Genma in  
  
his universe had to face, then it was no wonder he took off with Ranma for  
  
over ten years. She was scary! "Ahhh...I was thinking of staying at the  
  
dojo for the night, that way I can be ready. The problem is I don't  
  
really have a formal outfit to wear in order to take her out tomorrow."  
  
"Well, we'll just have to solve that problem. Of course, I'll  
  
expect you to take her out to a nice place for dinner, and to show her a  
  
good time. Just not _TOO_ good a time." Nodoka stated, looking the boy  
  
in the eye. "When we get back, you are _going_ to be on your best  
  
behaviour, is that clear Ryouga-kun?"  
  
Ryouga gulped again. Ok, not in every way possible. Then again,  
  
avoiding the possibility of having sex with Ranma was fine with him, even  
  
if this Ranma was a girl and sexually active with his counterpart, which  
  
was likely given the stare he was getting. "Perfectly, Saotome-sama."  
  
***  
  
*Oh shit!* Nabiki thought to herself, as she looked at Akane who  
  
was glowing with a very bright aura. *If Ryouga is dating Ranma, he'll be  
  
killed if Akane gets a hold of him.*  
  
*I'll kill him. I'll make him sorry he ever came here. He'll  
  
look nice skinned, and after I make sure that he painfully loses what all  
  
perverts seem to think with. To think that I thought Ryouga was a nice  
  
guy, but it seems he _still_ hasn't given up on getting Ranma for  
  
himself.* The youngest Tendo seethed.  
  
"Calm down Akane, you know how things tend to get blown out of  
  
proportion around here. With how Aunt Saotome was reacting, it's possible  
  
she just jumped to conclusions and trapped him into it. After all, when  
  
has he ever gone after a girl without having a major case of nerves!"   
  
Nabiki said nervously, not willing to see the damage the eventual fight  
  
would cause. "I'll find out for sure, just keep calm.  
  
"I'll keep calm, Nabiki," Akane stated, letting her aura flare  
  
out. *But as soon as I tell the others, it will be open season on Hibiki,  
  
and he's going to wish that he never tried to get Ranma by Magic, just  
  
like last time. The best part is, there is no way this can be blamed on  
  
me when the others kill him.*  
  
To Be Continued... 


	3. When it comes to the morning after

*There's no way I'm going to allow this,* Akane fumed as she looked at Ranma flirting with Ryouga. Looking back at it, she realized that the bastard was always trying to break her and Ranma up, and now his true colours were showing. She should have known that his attempt with the koi rod wasn't the first thing that he had planned. How many years, how many had he been after Ranma as a lover?  
  
For anyone else, missing the time of a duel would have been enough of an indication that they forfeited the match. But NOOOO!!! The damned lost boy followed Ranma all the way to China, and ever since he showed up and saw Akane, he had been doing his damndest to break them apart. At first she believed that it was because he was vindictive, then she thought it was because of something Ranma had done.  
  
But the incident with the Koi rod had given her pause, and she started to have a few suspicions. True, Ryouga had helped to release Ranma from the spell, but she had always wondered if it was because Ranma had just come on too strong, and he wasn't expecting such a blatant reaction. Then again, it could have been an accident like he explained.  
  
Of course, when Ranma was in any real trouble, Ryouga was ALWAYS there. Protecting his 'Sworn Enemy' when Ranma had lost his strength, making sure Ranma knew how to handle everything in Rhythmic Gymnastics, or just stepping in, such as the time when Ranma had been locked as a girl by Herb. For all she knew Ryouga's form of flirting was to yell battle cries and attack, and given the way Ranma was trained by his father, it was probably the only way her gender-confused fiancee knew how to interact with others.  
  
Of course, there were all the times Ranma had taken the initiative in this, now obvious, flirting game the two had going on. Pretending to be Ryouga's fiancee to break him and Ukyou up, pretending to be his little sister so that hopefully Akane would go away and disappear, leaving the two of them alone in Ryouga's house, pretending to be a girl in order to get close to Ryouga. Ranma's 'disguises' were never that brilliant, so Ryouga must have known right away. It would also explain why Ranma was able to wear outfits that other girls would blush at, or want to use only in the bedroom, or how that mirror clone reacted. In fact, that mirror clone was probably more patterned after Ranma's true personality than the one he normally presented to the world.  
  
Now the two were discussing going on a DATE of all things tomorrow night! With RANMA, the 'Man Among Men' as the girl! WITH HER MOTHER'S APPROVAL!!!  
  
NO! Boy or girl, Ranma was hers. If she had to make love to the girl to prove that she was the only one that mattered then she would. She'd be the boy in their relationship, wear the pants, and Ranma could be the good little housewife. She would do it if she had to, no way was she going to allow any boys to go after her fiancee.  
  
Akane fumed silently as she decided to shadow them on their date the next evening. There was no way she'd allow the pervert to tempt her fiancee, no way she'd allow Ryouga the chance to take Ranma anywhere near a love hotel, and DEFINATELY no way she'd allow the constantly lost boy to take Ranma, lose them somewhere, and have her SLEEP in his tent with him.  
  
It should be HER with Ranma, no matter her form, HER with the person she loved. There was no way she'd allow them to be together for long! As far as Akane was concerned, she was the only one who was going to get near enough to Ranma to engage in some...  
  
Sexual Endeavours  
  
Part Three:  
  
When it comes to the morning after...  
  
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2  
  
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.  
  
Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.  
  
Publishing rights:Japan by Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo  
  
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
  
North America by Viz Inc.  
  
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi  
  
Morning.  
  
In that extremely nice time, when you do not have an alarm clock, or a parent forcing you out of bed, between sleep and full wakefulness, when ones mind is in neutral and not even attempting to revert to activity, Ranma's mind wandered. It was nice to wake up this way, without anyone to bother or bug him. Unusual though.  
  
Stretching slightly, and then shifting herself on her futon, she smiled, not realizing that she had gone to sleep as a girl. Her mind was on that weird but somehow funny and satisfying dream that she had, where everyone treated her like a normal person. Admittedly as a girl, but a normal person all the same. Although having a sex shop disguised as a place where one went to get clothes to be a magical girl was probably because she wanted to write a background story about sex for their game.  
  
Turning, she got up groggily and went to the washroom, having to use the facilities. She didn't really acknowledge what she was wearing as she did her business, given that there were times when she had gone to sleep as a girl before. It wasn't until she looked in the mirror that she realized that she was dressed in a very pretty, and sexy, baby doll nightie that was slightly see through.  
  
"What the hell?!?" Ranma muttered to herself as she took a good look in the mirror. Not only was she wearing a nightgown, but her eyebrows were slightly neater, no stray hairs over or under the main brows. This didn't make sense, why was she dressed like this unless...  
  
"Shit! It wasn't a dream!" Ranma murmured as she stared at herself slightly taken aback. Something had happened, something very weird, and she was now caught up in it. Hell, something bad MUST have happened to everyone, given RYOUGA was willing to go out on a date with her, especially with her MOTHER of all people encouraging it. If the trip they went on was any indication, then her mother was no longer thinking about a 'Man Among Men', as was her wont, but rather a 'Woman among Women!"  
  
"Ok, something is wrong with everyone. They think I'm a girl, that I've always been a girl, just comfortable as a tomboy, that I'm attracted to men, and that Ryouga is my boyfriend. If things go anything like how my life normally does, and if it occurs like in some anime or manga I have, then someone is trying to take over. Just why wasn't I affected?"  
  
Ranma paused at that one. If what was affecting everybody didn't affect her, then why was everyone treating what happened yesterday as normal. It could be that SHE was the one affected. No, it made too much sense the other way around. "It figures, I actually find a place where 'Magical Girls' go to get their uniforms, and now I've got to become one in order to figure out how to save my family and friends. Why do these things happen to me?"  
  
No real help for it. Well if everyone thought that she was a girl, then there was no reason to disappoint them. After she was finished with her daily ablutions, it would be time to get that school uniform out of the closet. Thank goodness that she had a couple from various disguises that she had used in past. Come to think of it, she would have to get a complete change of clothes to bring to school as well. Well, at least she now had all the necessary extraneous stuff like the makeup and earrings...  
  
***  
  
Ryouga lay in bed staring at the ceiling.  
  
It wasn't that he was sleeping indoors at the moment that bothered him. Although he was used to being outdoors most of the time, being indoors on a nice clean futon was something he did enjoy. His problem had to do with the date that evening.  
  
Somehow, he had been sent into another dimension. It could be his family curse of getting lost, or it could be something else, but he was in way over his head because of it. He should have realized that when his GPS unit failed to work properly, but being the blind idiot he was, he had to have it told to him. Now, apparently, he was the boyfriend of his friend and rival, Ranma. How could things become any more screwed up?  
  
The problem was, he couldn't just take off. If anything, his experience told him that his best chance for getting home would be to remain at the Dojo, and that meant not going anywhere without someone to guide him. A job that Ranma seemed all too willing to ask for.  
  
The biggest part of the problem was that he was now taking the blame for his counterparts actions, at least if Ranma's mother was any indication. Apparently the bastard who's place he was taking was having sexual relations with his version of Ranma, and her mother was very angry at that. To top it off, it seemed his counterpart also had the family curse and had missed a lot of dates with the native Ranma. He had been terrified the evening before when Nodoka stated, without preamble, that he had better be there for their date, and that despite any prodding by her daughter, not to have sex with her. She had even implied that the two of them should get married, and soon!  
  
Groaning as he rolled over, Ryouga contemplated his options, which weren't that many, and burried his head into the futon. "I've got to take her out and show her a nice time, and at the same time avoid her pushing to get into bed for sex. Kami! Why Me! Isn't it bad enough that I've seen hell thanks to my cursed form? Which vengeful spirit did this just as I made up with my Ranma?"  
  
For some reason, when he said that, an image of a cute, redheaded, and sweetly smiling face entered his head.  
  
He spent the next hour slamming it into the floor trying to get the image out of his mind while saying, "I don't like Ranma that way. Akari is the girl for me. I don't like Ranma that way. Akari is the girl for me..."  
  
***  
  
Nodoka was a bit worried.  
  
Not about her child's sexual preference, or that she wanted to remain a girl. After years of being separated, she was only too happy to indulge her child in whatever kept her happy. If she had been lesbian or homosexual, she wouldn't have given a damn. Her child was too important to her to risk anything coming between them.  
  
Which was why she had threatened Genma and Soun with her sword this morning, as well as prevented her husbands usual early morning spar. She was not going to risk anything harming her child, and she had to make sure that her stupid panda of a husband wasn't going to make things difficult. No matter, Genma and Soun WOULD be controlled about the situation now, at least if they wanted to keep their heads, the smaller ones that is.  
  
What Nodoka was worried about had everything to do with that sex shop that they had visited yesterday, which her daughter had entered with guilty pleasure. She had to come up with something that would stop her daughter from making a spectacle of herself, especially since she was obviously sexually active. Nodoka shuddered at the thought of her daughter, in that dominatrix outfit, and the chains, handcuffs, and other...accoutrements...that she had ordered. She would die of embarrassment if her daughter did what she wanted to do and wear them to a fight. Such things were only for the bedroom!!  
  
She looked up as Ranma came down stairs, her makeup perfect and not a thing out of place. "Good morning daughter, did you sleep well?"  
  
"Good morning mother," Ranma responded with a slight sigh, "I was having pleasant dreams about my date with Ryouga-chan this evening. Isn't he so wonderful?"  
  
"It is nice that you found yourself a wonderful boy." Nodoka stated as she turned to get some tea cups, "However, don't take it too fast, young lady. I know that you are...having relations...with the boy, but I do not want to see you pregnant. At least not until you finish school."  
  
Ranma blushed slightly at those words. Yep, everyone expected her to be a girl, and eventually marry a man. She'd have to pretend to be a girl until she could get that outfit, and then come up with some sort of disguise for herself. Maybe the Ghoul could help in that, and perhaps provide an artefact of some kind to enhance her own natural abilities. "Moooommm! He's just a nice boy. I like him and all, but I'm not ready to get married!"  
  
Nodoka smirked and turned back to her daughter, "And what about wanting to show him all the new clothes you bought. I'm sure he would have felt a little...frisky...after seeing them."  
  
"MOTHER!!!"  
  
***  
  
"OK, be calm Nabiki. It's time for damage control." She muttered to herself as she got ready for the day, "If the girls blow up, then we're all in trouble, it will be hard enough keeping Akane calm."  
  
Nabiki grimaced. It was still hard to believe, in fact, it was impossible to believe. Ranma had actually acted very intelligent yesterday. He talked, answered questions, did not fight, and willingly became a girl yesterday evening. This was the opposite to the Ranma that she had known just over a year. What the hell could have happened to create this person?   
  
Then again, magic, insane martial arts, kidnapping, attack helliocopters, and incursions of irritating Oni possession were only a few of the things that had happened to Nerima in the past year alone. The unusual became so commonplace in Nerima that everyone looked on in horror, or walked as if on eggshells, when an ordinary day happened. Some of the more unstable individuals had started to say that if Nerima _was_ calm for a day, then the world would end. Some had even gone so far as to predict the end of the universe.  
  
So Ranma becoming a girl was just another matter of a curse, some shampoo, or magic. For all anyone knew, it could even be something Ranma ate, given that she was one to stuff her face before contemplating the consequences. In fact, that Ranma hadn't gone a week without some new weirdness was par for the course.  
  
Still, even if this particular weirdness was good for Ranma, it would not be good for the rest of the district, if not the city.  
  
Staring into the mirror, she grunted to herself "I've got to get a handle on this, find out if Ranma really wants to be a girl, if it's something Uncle did, or if some spell has been cast."  
  
Something big was going to happen today, and she was determined to minize all the damage possible. After all, Furinken was the scene of a lot of violence, since before Ranma came there. Ever since he came, the damage went up, with the battles, the kidnapings, not to mention the infatuations...  
  
"OH GODDESS! KUNO!"  
  
***  
  
Ukyou smirked to herself as she prepared for the day.  
  
If Ranma had given up hiding behind the 'dumb martial artist' bit, then it was time that she took a better look at herself. Depending on how things went, Ukyou would define her looks. Either the sauve, enchanting, and handsome prince, or the demure, elegant princess.  
  
Ukyou was hoping that Ranma would chose to be a girl, especially since that would eliminate her other rivals for Ranma's hand in marriage.  
  
In either case, she had to talk to Mrs. Saotome sometime today, and see if she agreed that Ranma going to a private girls academy, with her, was the best thing. After all, if Ranma chose to be a girl, then it would be wise to move her someplace where she could get used to it, and become a lady in society. If not, then given that Ranma's curse most probably could not be cured, then it would be best if she learned what being a girl, away from her father, was like.  
  
Smirking a bit, she hid the cologne that she hadn't used in almost a year in her case and left the restaurant. If she was going to be a prince to Ranma's princess, then it wouldn't do to leave the appropriate aroma's behind. Besides, she had enough perfume samples in her locker to help if Ranma decided to be the prince.  
  
***  
  
Akane grinned nastily as she looked at herself in the mirror.  
  
Oh, she would tell the others that Ranma was being seduced by Ryouga, and that they had a very good, and sexual, relationship. She would definately tell them of all the times Ryouga tried to seduce and get Ranma for himself, after all, she wanted them to go after the right target. She would even imply that the only way to get Ranma back to normal would be to defeat the pervert and make him give up whatever magic he used.  
  
However, Akane would not miss this opportunity, especially with how long Ryouga tended to leave the area at times.  
  
She had to admit, styling her hair a bit differently, wearing Ranma's one male uniform that she had adjusted to her size, and binding her breasts down did make her seem a lot more masculine. She was definately in the Bishonen camp, much like Ukyou, and she was going to make sure that she pressed the engagement this way. After all, if Ranma was going to be content as a wife, then someone had to be the husband, and, although she hated to admit this, Akane made the better husband.  
  
Smilling cruely, she took a bit of her fathers' after shave and put it on. Not too much, but enough to leave a hint of the smell, and perhaps entice her fiancee. "There's no way I'm going to lose Ranma. No way in hell! After having all of those girls after him and getting rid of them, there's no way I'm going to lose Ranma to Ryouga of all people!"  
  
***  
  
Shampoo hated the dress.  
  
It wasn't flattering, it wasn't pretty, and it definately did nothing to entice the male eye.  
  
But then again, her one Furinken uniform was not really designed with flattery in mind, just to slightly disguise her when she went to get the soap back from that idiot pig-boy.  
  
Looking at herself, and frowning because it was so uncute, she contemplated the look. Shampoo wanted to chuck the whole thing then and there. It wasn't just the look that was bothering her, it was the material. This outfit just didn't feel comfortable.  
  
"Grand-daughter, are you ready to go yet?" a voice called out to her.  
  
"In a minute Grand-mother, I'm trying to get used to this." Shampoo replied, "I want to make a good impression on my beloved."  
  
Outside the room, Cologne shook her head. At least her grand-daughter was finely using her head, although it was much too late. If the idiot girl could not see that she had lost the race, then having her go to school was a wise idea, at least then she'd learn something instead of pining away the hours until she next saw Ranma, or planed something disasterous.  
  
She looked up at the noise, expecting Shampoo to come downstairs but was suprised when she saw Mousse dressed in a Furinken boy's uniform. "And what are you thinking of boy?"  
  
Mousse grimaced in front of the Elder. "I was thinking of going to school. I've been thinking about it since we came back from Jusendo, and I'm not going to waste any more time. I've already made an appointment with an eye doctor for next week to get new glasses, or perhaps surgery if it's warranted."  
  
Colongne raised an eyebrow, "Not that I'm complaining, but why? You've never been one to look for academic training."  
  
Mousse laughed, an almost slightly crazed one similar to Kodachi, and which almost caused Cologne to shudder. Almost.  
  
"Elder, surely you saw what happened at Mount Pheonix. Do you think I have a chance against Saotome? Do you think ANYONE in the tribe has a chance against a person who killed an immortal? I'm not crazy or stupid, despite what people think. Ranma has more power, more ability, and more luck than ANY mortal has a right to have. The only reason I went to the wedding was because if Shampoo had succeeded, she would have been dead. As it was, my actions only slightly distracted Saotome from going after her. I'll never be the martial artist he is.  
  
"That said, I am not about to waste any more time. There are things in this country, in the outside world, that our village can use. Ideas, knowledge, items, and points of communication. Our people, who have long believed our martial arts is the only way, can easily die if they don't learn. Our isolation is the cause of this whole debacle, especially with some of the stupid laws that we should have done away with centuries ago. 'Chase an opponent to the ends of the earth and kill them.' That one will, in this age, end up with our people dead. 'Marry the one who defeats you, killing all obstacles in your way.' That one will also end up with our people dead, or imprisoned. You know what some of the people in this place call us after learning about those laws?   
  
"To them we are no better than barbarians. People who have no decency, no culture, and no intelligence. Just lapdogs who put a veneer of civilization on their base desires. To them, we are no better than slavers. People who want to own other people as property. And they look upon Shampoo in just that way.  
  
"Forgive me Elder, if this is not what you want to hear, but the truth is the truth." Mousse then quickly left before the old mummy could conk him over the head and render him unconcious.  
  
Cologne frowned. There was no doubt what he said held a grain of truth. Hell the whole truth. People in the outside world were much too powerful, and the tools they used could defeat them easily. Perhaps the boy was right, and, although she did not like the backbone he was showing to her, it was time to review her peoples history and laws, and the place men had in society.  
  
Shampoo just leaned against her door, having heard the conversation. If that was how people viewed her, viewed her people and her culture, and saw what she was doing in that manner, then perhaps that is why Ranma refused to have anything to do with her. She would have to think about this, there was much that needed to change about herself it would seem.  
  
***  
  
Nabiki sighed with relief as she got to school before the others. As usual, her prime money source was standing near the gates of the high school waiting for Ranma so that he could defeat him. Why he never figured out the curse, or the fact that both Ranma and Akane hated him, she would never figure out. Inviting them to the wedding had been a financial boon, but it was also an extreme annoyance.  
  
"Good morning Kuno-chan. How is it going?"  
  
"Good morning Tendo-san, and to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this day?" replied Kuno calmly.  
  
"I wanted to ask that you lay off Akane and your pig-tailed girl for a little while. There has been a small family emergency, and they are not quite feeling themselves." Nabiki said, getting into negotiation mode.  
  
"I am quite agreeable to this. I was going to ask Ranma if she wished to spar this fine day, but that can wait. The number of defeats I have suffered at her hands over the past year are indication enough that I have to do better." Kuno said.  
  
Nabiki stared at him. "Are you feeling all right Kuno? You don't have to see the doctor or anything do you?"  
  
"No. I'm waiting for my father right now. He should be here soon as I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me. This morning's practice went very well, and I suspect we will win the regional tournament this year. Ah...There he is now."  
  
Nabiki looked towards the gate and nearly fainted. Principal Kuno was dressed in a regular suit and tie instead of his usual Hawaian look, and he had lost his palm tree. He even left the sunglasses behind. Looking at that, and Kuno, she backed away slowly. She saw the principal hand his son a suit bag, and they left towards the school.  
  
"By all the Kami!!! Kuno giving up his fight, the principal in normal clothes, and Ranma acting like a young girl in love?!?! It is the end of the world!" Nabiki almost screamed.  
  
Her associates came up and looked at her. "What are we going to do Tendo-sempai, Kuno declared this morning that Ranma is not to be attacked, or HE will face them. When someone brought up Ranma's curse, Kuno said that it is the duty of all of those who strive for the ideals of the Samurai to protect all women, including those who have been cursed. Half of our business will be gone, and we're going to have to pay out on the 'When is Kuno going to get a clue' pool!"  
  
At those word, Nabiki did faint.   
  
***  
  
Ranma still couldn't believe it, and just kept looking at Akane out of the side of her eye, trying to pretend that there wasn't anything wrong. Thank the Kami that she was familiar with role playing games, or there would be no way she could pull this off. Akane, wearing a boy's uniform was almost unbelievable.  
  
"Is there anything wrong Ranma-chan?" Akane asked, smirking inwardly at her fiancee's body language.  
  
"Noooo...I was just thinking how handsome you look like that. If I didn't have Ryouga, I might just fall for you." Ranma answered, her head bent down looking demure and shy.  
  
It was the perfect opening.  
  
Akane took her fiancees hand, and gently kissed it, then looked into Ranma's eyes. "You are sweet, you know that? I think I've fallen in love with you despite how our fathers are trying to make us marry against our will."  
  
She then bent down on her knee, and looked Ranma in the face. "Darling, I want us to be together, not because of our fathers, but because we want to. Will you consent to be my wife!"  
  
Ranma's mind almost shut down. AKANE, the one who always wanted to be feminine, was asking for her to marry her? For her to be Akane's wife while she took up the male role? Something was definately wrong. She WOULD have to visit that shop after school and make the costume a rush job. There was no help for it if Akane was acting so out of character, and from the looks of things, believing herself to be a boy!  
  
Akane just looked on as Ranma flushed and started to stammer, not saying yes or no. Well, if she didn't say yes right now, then it would come soon. She would not give up.  
  
To be continued... 


	4. Their hearts pound and men swelter, when...

Ranma started to run home to get ready for her date. It was lucky the woman who took her measurement the day before had almost finished her uniform. She'd only had to wait half an hour, although her special order items wouldn't arrive for a week. At least the boots, gloves, and main body armour was ready to be picked up, and if anything happened, they would serve her well.  
  
It was fortunate that she had studied and improved on many of Mousse's techniques, because until she got whatever it would be to enhance her powers, she couldn't transform. It also left her without weapons and any other magical enhancements. However, with her Ki she should be able to simulate the necessary powerblasts and fake it for a while.  
  
Come to think of it, she hoped that her cute talking companion was not one of _those_ creatures. It would take a sick Kami to come up with something like that. Then again, with her luck it might just be Shampoo.  
  
In any case, it was almost a relief to be heading home, especially with some of the looks that the other students were giving Akane. People were used to the weirdness around her, but it disturbed Ranma that Akane was attractive to the other girls in class. Then again, the girls were also looking at Uk-chan, who had been acting more masculine than usual. Whatever happened to change the world around her was cascading rapidly. More rapidly than she expected.  
  
Ranma just hoped that she could defeat the evil which threatened this time.  
  
The shopkeeper sighed as she watched the young girl go. While the redhead knew what she wanted and how she wanted it, she still seemed too young and innocent for the type of world she was entering. While she did sell the equipment to keep her clientele happy, there were many times she had reservations. This was one of those times.  
  
If it was her, she wouldn't let her daughter near any of the dominatrix equipment, much less the uniforms. However, the girl had her mother with her, and the mother just bought it without saying a word. What kind of mother would do this without a protest, especially since it seemed to be a spur of the moment purchase?  
  
Oh well, she wasn't in business to make moral judgements. Nor was she to question why the girl wanted everything for the main costume finished so quickly. All she had to do was serve with a smile.  
  
Smirking to herself, she wondered how the girl would do in her...  
  
Sexual Endeavours  
  
Part Four:  
  
Their hearts pound and men swelter,  
  
when a girl goes by wearing...  
  
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2  
  
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.  
  
Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.  
  
Publishing rights:Japan byShogakukan Inc. Tokyo  
  
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
  
North America by Viz Inc.  
  
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi  
  
"You look very handsome young man." Nodoka said as she looked over Ryouga who was in a tuxedo.  
  
"That you Saotome-sama." Ryouga replied, trying his best not to grimace of pull on the collar and bow tie. He preferred clothing that was much less restrictive. The pants were fine, apparently Ranma had adjusted it for her male body, and it allowed him enough room so that he could kick in it. However, the jacket had to be replaced. No one wore tails if they could help it. Mrs. Saotome had taken the time to go out and buy him a proper fitting one. Although the arms were restrictive, as long as he did not use his full range of motion, he wouldn't rip the sleeves off.  
  
As he looked over himself, he had to admit it made him look good. The dark black satin certainly complemented his hair and looks and showed off his muscle tone. The white shirt had small blue, hardly noticeable pin strips and was designed with cuff and collar links in mind. It combined the best of the modern era with a traditional look and feel.  
  
"Take off that bandana, Ryouga-kun. It does not look very good, and your hair is messy with it in."  
  
Ryouga choked, "I need my bandana, Saotome-sama. I'm not going anywhere without a few weapons."  
  
Nodoka frowned a bit. Like certain martial artists of her acquaintance, it seemed that the young man was used to having at least a few items that would be useful to make him seem comfortable. Much like she was with the Saotome honour blade. There had to be something that could be done. "Young man, wait here, and take off that bandana. I've got a few items that may be of use to you."  
  
As soon as she left the room, Ryouga sighed and took the thin scarfs off. The reason he didn't want to take them off was not, as he told Mrs. Saotome, that he needed the weapons on him, rather it was because he was uncomfortable without something there, having gotten used to it over the years. He had been wearing a bandana since his eighth birthday, and it came in useful for so many things, such as a mask, to wipe sweat off, and to keep the hair out of his eyes. It just felt wrong to be without them.  
  
Grabbing a comb, he started to straighten his unruly locks, and then widened the natural partition in his hair on the left side of his face. It looked good, and also got the large amount of hair in front of his face out of the way. It still felt damn uncomfortable though. Well, he'd put them in the inside jacket pocket, they wouldn't be noticeable and he could always put them on after they left the house.  
  
Just as he finished straightening his clothes and smiling to himself in the mirror, Nodoka came back into the room carrying a small tray of lead weights and a small plastic bag. "Here you are Ryouga-kun. These should do for weapons, at least for now. Will you help me prepare them?"  
  
Ryouga took a look at what Mrs. Saotome brought in, and started to chuckle, and it quickly turned into a full fledge laugh. He soon sat down with Ranma's mother and had an enjoyable time preparing his new 'weapons'. The irony was that they would suit him.  
  
***  
  
Ranma sighed as she looked in the mirror.  
  
On the outside, she was just a cute girl going out on a date. Short black skirt, black stockings, white silk blouse, and her hair in a different style from her usual. Her mother had even laid out the sexiest undergarments she had as well as a mini-slip. Where her mother had found the item was beyond her as she didn't even know those things existed.  
  
Well, it was time to see if she perform the technique she thought of while coming home from the store. In a whisper, she said, "If I'm right, using a combination of the Umi-Sen-Ken and some of Colognes teachings along with Mouses hidden weapons skills, I should be able to pull this off. If not, I'll just look like a fool."  
  
Backing away from the mirror slightly, she gathered her Chi, and focused it so that it was hidden just below the visible spectrum. She let her senses range slightly outward, keeping track of everything in the room, and the items that she had hidden. If this worked, then all she would need would be the power.  
  
Having readied herself, she jumped slightly and whispered, "Henshin!"  
  
The room was suddenly flooded in a blinding light that centred around Ranma's body. In the centre of the light there was an indistinct shadow of a girl, who seemed to be going through a set of fancy dance steps, and if you blinked, you would have missed the shadow when it seemed to form new clothes around the body. When the light faded, there was a masked girl, posing in front of the mirror.  
  
Ranma smirked to herself as she twirled. It had worked. Her new transformation technique was a success. Now would the reverse hold true.  
  
Looking at the mirror, Ranma muttered something to herself and seemed to disappear for just a second.  
  
Unfortunately, when she reappeared, she was face down on the floor and only wearing one high healed boot and a shoe with a lower heal.  
  
"Definitely needs some work..." she groaned as her clothing fell around her.  
  
***  
  
Akane grimaced as she looked at herself in the mirror. It wasn't that the image she was now projecting was bad. In fact, she looked damn good as a guy, and taking Ranma's clothing and modifying it was a low cost way of getting result. She couldn't fault her fiancee's taste in this at least. The problem was that the damn bindings that she was using to keep her breasts down hurt.  
  
How the hell could Ukyou handle this sort of thing for years, especially with her larger bustline?  
  
Another factor was that Ranma's female fiancees were different than usual. When she had informed Ukyou of the date, her main competition for Ranma's heart, soul, and especially, body, just nodded to herself as if to confirm her own suspicions. In fact, Ukyou thanked her and asked her if she wanted some advice in how to act like a boy!  
  
Stranger yet, was when she confronted Shampoo, she received a reaction she never expected...  
  
***  
  
"What you mean, Ranma dating Ryouga?" Shampoo asked Akane, a look of awe and disgust on her face.  
  
Akane calmly looked at the new girl in school, and said, "Well, as far as I can tell, the two of them have been having sex. Her mother seems to approve of him, and if you look at how the two of them act around one another, it's obvious that Ryouga has been trying to take Ranma away from us for some time."  
  
Shampoo blinked. Ryouga and Ranma having sex? Ranma was dressing as a schoolgirl and everyone, except for her rivals were treating this as normal? Well, except for the spatula girl who seemed to expect this. Was this what Mousse was talking about? Could her actions, the laws of her tribe have driven the best man anywhere in the world to hate to have anything to do with women?  
  
"Shampoo must think. Maybe Ranma be better if have date, and know that man not for her."  
  
Akane goggled, "You WANT to have Ranma going on a date with Ryouga of all people?"  
  
A snort came from off to the side, "I think all that we knew of Ranma went up in smoke a little while ago. We may have pushed him too hard, and this reaction is the result. You have to admit, the way we acted was hardly a good example of how ordinary women in Japan go about competition in getting a boy."  
  
Both girls turned to see the interloper, and stared at Ukyou. "So. We make Ranma want to be girl, to get away from girls is what you saying."  
  
"Exactly," Ukyou stated. "Ranma was pushed because of honour to trying NOT to make a decision between us. In a way, this may be Ranma's only way out, and it may be the only way he, or rather she, can actually have some companionship without facing death, or worse. Think about it carefully, all of the situations concerning us could hardly be called healthy, at least mentally speaking. It may be that Ranma's mind has cracked from all the pressure."  
  
Akane grimaced, "Ranma may be reacting like this because she subconsciously believes it's the only way out, and that this is the only way to keep who she is, inside, intact."  
  
"Exactly Akane-kun. Our competition for him will have to wait, or become something else. I've talked with a few people, and they were expecting Ranma to snap sooner or later. Some people are actually surprised that he didn't kill anyone."  
  
"Aiyaaa! Ranma kill in China. Was with cause, but maybe Ranma feel guilty. Shampoo is one cause, Akane another. Only one who back Ranma in fight is Ryouga. Perhaps that why Ranma see Ryouga as boyfriend!"  
  
Ukyou scowled at the other two, "Ranma killed someone in China, and neither of you thought to tell me about this?! Idiots! This could be a delayed reaction, combined with the wedding disaster! How could the two of you be so thoughtless!"  
  
Akane growled at Ukyou. "And you have no blame in that, I suppose?"  
  
"Of course I'm partially to blame! If either of you told me about this I wouldn't have done what I did. Do you realise what we may have done? Ranma's reactions yesterday, combined with the very cute schoolgirl who's here today is the result of severe trauma!"  
  
Ukyou shook her head, "The pressure of being the heir to the Saotome Ryu, the failed wedding ceremony, the destruction of the last bit of Nanniichuan, from what I understand, what the three of us did to him over this year, and everyone pushing him to be a 'Man Among Men.' Of course he's snapped! To him, everything combined has probably made him think he'll never be a true man, so his mind retreated into this! Why couldn't you have told me this before that disaster?"  
  
Shampoo looked stricken as she considered that. "Was only thinking of having Ranma, and of law. No consider that."  
  
Akane looked a bit flustered, "I thought he'd bounce back as he always does. Nothing ever seems to keep Ranma down for long."  
  
"What hobbies does he have? How many real friends does he have? He has acquaintances, Akane, not friends here. His father kept him from making any." Ukyou shuddered. "We're going to have to treat Ranma differently from now on. As far as we are concerned, Ranma is not a fiancee, but a friend. An ordinary girl. If we go after him...her, we will do so as though we are boys. We ask to go on dates, we do not pressure her, we give her flowers, candy, and gifts. We treat her as we have wanted to be treated. It may be the only way to get Ranma back to normal, and if not, then it may be the only way to convince Ranma that girls are not that bad as lovers.  
  
"Ranma is in a unique position, and I don't think any of the girls will object to this. They see Ranma, when a girl, as possibly a friend, and this is a good thing. Don't rock the boat, and see if we can get close. Hell, everyone already thinks I'm a lesbian because of the way I dress and how I'm registered in school."  
  
Shampoo's eyes widened, "Must be boy if want Ranma? Will be difficult."  
  
"Don'cha worry about anything. I'll teach the both a' ya how to act like a boy, and use the proper speach."  
  
Akane watched as her two rivals left, Shampoo hanging onto every word Ukyou was saying. Neither of of them listened to her, or let her explain her reasons for coming to the conclusion she had. They weren't going to go after Ryouga! How could such a good plan fall apart like this?!?  
  
***  
  
It was time.  
  
After years of preparation, he was finally ready to start a takeover of Japan, the one country with a very competent police system, at least on the surface.  
  
Most crooks outside of the country assumed that the statistics of the Japanese government were correct. After all, why lie, and worse, with the police intergrated with an intelligence service, and so many officers checking on the populance, even the lowest crimes were caught. And for those caught, the sentences were strict and severe.  
  
However, what those outside of Japan failed to comprehend was that if one used their brains, and their own cultural bias against them, then even the Japanese justice system was as nothing.  
  
To think, they believed in the stories that they told of people with super powers. What fools, and he could use it against them. He just had to choose the areas that were rumoured to have these "super-powered" warriors as these areas had less of a police presence than in other areas.  
  
Nerima would be the perfect place in order to start an expansion of his crime empire.  
  
***  
  
Ryouga was waiting nervously at the table.  
  
Not because of the date, he had accepted that. Nor because of Ranma's mother, especially given the latest looks she had given him which were a lot different from those she was wearing the night before. Neither was it because of the photo's that Nabiki was taking, although he was sure that he would be paying for that sooner or later, or at least his counterpart would.  
  
No, it was from the looks that this Akane, who dressed and acted like a boy, and he really did not like the looks she was giving him. The grinding teeth was also an indication. The clincher, however, was the way she was cleaning the weapons that she brought out.  
  
She had only really ever used them against Ranma or any boy that she considered hentai, at least in his universe.  
  
Ryouga happened to glance at the stairs and spit out the tea on Akane much to her digust.  
  
Ranma smiled with a little mischief in her eyes. "Do you like what you see, Ryouga?"  
  
Ryouga could only gulp and nod his head up and down fast.  
  
Akane glanced over and started to steam. HER Ranma was dressing up like that for the pervert. NO way was she going to leave them alone. Yep, she had to keep her eye on her sexy fiancee, if for no other reason than making sure that she wasn't taken advantage of.  
  
Nabiki just wistled silently to herself as she continued to take pictures. First Ryouga in a very nice tuxedo,and now Ranma in an outfit that just screamed 'sex'. She had to admit, however, Ranma carried it of well.  
  
A see through white blouse, semi-transparent mini skirt, very shiny, black high heels and very enticing stockings. You could see her sexy black underwear and the garters that held up the stockings. And Ranma's face...it was a work of art. Three shades of eyeshadow, ranging from white silver to pale mauve and blended perfectly, The eyes really opened up, especially with the way her liner was done and the mascarra lightly place on. Her blush was slightly darker, as was her lipstick, but matched perfectly, both with her eyeshadow and nail polish. In other words, she reeked sex and perfection.  
  
As she came closer, an almost not there scent started to rise into the air. Slightly floral, sweet, and airy, it lifted the spirit and made Ryouga's heartbeat rise for no reason he could descern. If his Ranma was even half the girl this one was, it was likely he would have forgoten her origins and tried to date her.  
  
Akane's reaction was much different.  
  
As in she was actually cracking the bow in her hand as she watched the two of them share loving looks.  
  
No way would they be left alone. Akane had to do everything she could to protect her girlfriend. Ranma was going to become her wife, not Ryouga's.  
  
***  
  
Three hours twenty minutes and counting.  
  
They had meticulously planned this first operation, both in order to build a reputation, and to provide confidence in his underlings. Forget intimidation, or the regular scams that worked in America. A lot of people with muscles, guns, and no brains wouldn't work in this situation. No this had to fit into the Japanese frame of mind, something which made the crooks, heroes, and respected.  
  
First they had to recruit the proper individuals, train them, and put them into the positions where they were best suited. Security personnel, computer programmers, alarm specialist, and an expert in martial arts. All experts in their fields, and all trained to work together in teams and then disappear back into society. Experts who had worked hard, and now were waiting for proof that their slow and careful actions were the right way to do things.  
  
And in keeping with the Japanese mindset, he had even set up the best of his people as the "Boss". The ultimate crook who inspired the others, and the figurehead hero/villian that was necessary in this society. The Japanese would have never thought of putting the ideas that were in their cartoons and comics to actual use. They were much too insular in that manner.  
  
He even had a costume, as per the heroic ideal.  
  
There was no question that they would get all of the money in the bank, nor any question that they would get away with it. After all, there weren't any people who could get in the way, the police left the area alone at night, and the special effects were in place for anybody stupid enough to play hero.  
  
Everything would be done cleanly, and no clues left behind.  
  
It was his way, and his trademark.  
  
Three hours and fifteen minutes and counting...  
  
***  
  
Ryouga looked at the stuff behind the counter, and wondered if he should get anything, and how he could get out of having sex with Ranma.  
  
Now, normally this would not be a concern for him, as he was in a hate-rivalry relationship with his version of Ranma, but here...  
  
Dinner had gone well. Too well. Much too well.  
  
First, Ranma flirted with him. Making him actually wonder for a time what it would be like to have such a cute and wonderful girlfriend as Ranma. He kept the shuddering to a minimum as he beat that thought down, hopefully to never enter his head again.  
  
The Ranma he knew would have eaten like there was no tommorow.  
  
This Ranma had impecable and feminine manners at the dining table.  
  
The Ranma he knew would gag at the thought of making love to a boy.  
  
This Ranma had hinted that she would be more than willing to do so.  
  
It was so wrong in so many ways.  
  
Now, looking at the sales desk, he was wondering how he could come up with a way to get lost, but NOT get Saotome-Sama angry at him.  
  
That's when he saw it. The movie they were going to was one of those silly ones girls like, one that he was planning not to pay too much attention too. He would have much preffered something along the lines of a horror movie, or the movie playing in the next box, but Ranma wanted this animated love story, and he couldn't for the life of him resist her charm.  
  
But he could still buy a souvenier, and it would help him play around while not actually getting too mushy.  
  
Smirking to himself, Ryouga bought his souveniers as he went to get some snacks.  
  
***  
  
Ranma smiled lightly. Amazingly enough, her date went well. No unwanted fights, although she would have liked that, no interruptions, although she had gone out of her way to make it possible, and no fiances, which she knew was because the Universe was messing with her again.  
  
It made her edgy.  
  
That was when it happened.  
  
A small explossion, coming from the bank.  
  
An explossion that HAD to be the work of the person who messed with her family and her life.  
  
She quickly ran into an alleyway and shouted "HENSHIN!!!"  
  
***  
  
Ryouga almost had a nosebleed as he saw the swirl of lights around Ranma, and then her appearing as a Magical Girl.  
  
Gods!!! He had to get sent into a universe where he was the boyfriend of a Magical Girl, and that meant...  
  
Hating himself, he ducked into an alleyway as Ranma suddenly hoped to the rooftop.  
  
***  
  
Akane lost them. A loud sound, common enough in this area, and both of them disappeared.  
  
"Ryouga, I'll kill you. I don't know where you took my fiancee, but I will KILL you and get her back. NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE but me will get into her panties."  
  
Unseen behind her was one of her friends, Yuka, who heard the declaration. She shook her head and headed the other way, not wanting to get involved. "I need a drink, this is getting TOO insane for words."  
  
***  
  
The crooks were streaming out of the bank, only to hear a shout, "I don't think you want to make a withdrawal at this time of night!"  
  
Looking up, they saw a red headed girl in a very sexy black leather outfit that left little to the imagination. Her breasts were clearly seen, there were some chains around her waist, and her long legs were encased in stilleto heels which were at least 4 inches high, and made her legs look heavenly. From there angle, they could even see her sexy underwear. The black mask hid the colour of her eyes and looked as though they were made out of saphres. It wasn't possible. There couldn't actually be a superhero. Could there?  
  
The girl jumped to the street from a three story building as said calmly while making poses and pointing. "Decending upon evil like an Angel, I am GEM. I will stop your marauding and deliver you to justice."  
  
To be continued... 


	5. But there's just one thing, And I reall...

The streets were fairly quiet.  
  
An unusual situation for Nerima which was more used to explosions, ordinance, loud voices coming from an attack helliocoptor, or just plan crazy antics of people going over rooftops and travelling at insane rates of speed as they tore up streets and property.  
  
The only thing really heard was the grumbling of a person who was looking at everything in an alley, trying to find out where her quarry was.  
  
Of course, her quarry wasn't the usual find a boy and stop him from dating some girl.  
  
Well, ok it was, but in this situation it wasn't because it was a situation where she didn't want one of them to date her fiancee.  
  
All right, all right. It was exactly that situation, but not in the usual manner.  
  
In this case, the young woman, very much dressed as a man in a pair of black pants and chinese top , (because they were the only boys clothes in the house that would even get close to fitting her), was there to prevent her GIRLFRIEND from going out with a guy.  
  
In this district, it was known that you do not cross this girl. Not because of her temper, people had gotten used to that in the past year. Not because she was a martial artist, because her family, and the people around them were martial artists. You did not cross Tendo Akane because if you even hinted that something was going on that she didn't like you were going to go to a clinic or to the hospital.  
  
And not in a nice manner either.  
  
At this time, Akane was angry, although that might have been an understatement.  
  
And instead of her usual target, a young man named Saotome Ranma, she was there to find, and quite possibly beat up, one Hibiki Ryouga, who had a date with the afore mentioned Saotome Ranma.  
  
Now least anyone think otherwise, neither Saotome Ranma or Hibiki Ryouga were gay.  
  
Everyone at furinkan high school had thought of them as the manliest of men, and most girls in the school would be more than willing to date either one.  
  
Well, at least until earlier that day.  
  
You see, Ranma had this little problem, He turned into a girl.  
  
And Akane found out that Ryouga has obviously been dating Ranma without anyone knowing about it.  
  
Now, Akane was already rumoured to be a lesbian, but considering she started to dress as a man that day, and was obviously pursuing a female Ranma, well, things were getting a little out of hand.  
  
And that's why, Tendo Akane was looking in an alley for her female fiance.  
  
Nerimaitis had struck again.  
  
Akane pounded the wall next to her, angry at losing sight of the hentai and her girlfriend. "When I get hold of that bastard, he won't be able to produce any more heirs. The world does NOT need more lost and perverted martial artists."  
  
For now, the thing was to find Ranma, and not let her get carried away in her current state of mind.  
  
Who knew what would happened with Ryouga there?  
  
Who knew how far she would be tempted?  
  
Who knew just how far would Ranma go in her...  
  
Sexual Endeavours  
  
Part Five:  
  
But there's just one thing,  
  
And I really wanna know,  
  
Who's that...  
  
A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2  
  
Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.  
  
Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.  
  
Publishing rights:Japan byShogakukan Inc. Tokyo  
  
Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
  
North America by Viz Inc.  
  
Written by Ichinohei Hitomi  
  
With help from Robert Haynie and the people on #Akane  
  
The men were startled by what they were seeing.  
  
It was impossible. It couldn't be real because they were just Manga and Anime. A person like that just could not exist.  
  
And yet, they had seen it.  
  
A girl, a short, busty, redheaded girl in a tight and sexy leather outfit had just fallen three stories in stilleto heels and she didn't crack the sidewalk. A girl, who called herself Gem, and was obviously going to beat the hell out of them for robbing a bank. A girl, who's eyes were glowing behind that mask.  
  
At that point, her hands also started glowing, and with a shout of "GEMS....LIGHT!!!", a bright blue beam erupted from her hands and knocked one of the people down, and incidentally, out.  
  
"Shit! Run!" someone shouted.  
  
As far as Maruyama Tsuneyo was concerned, it was the right thing to do, and since he was closest to the bank, he ran back in, only to see the person in charge of this operation. "Boss, we got trouble, you don't want to go out there."  
  
The man dressed in a dark clothing with a grey jacket, a monicle, and a heavy cape with a gold chain around his neck, looked at his subordinate. "Are the police here?"  
  
"No boss, a Magical girl is!"  
  
The villain stared at his subordinate. "Let me get this straight. A magical girl. An actual maho shojo. Sexy outfit and incredible leaps and everything."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"And she even had an energy blast."  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
He sighed. "Well, at least I'm dressed for the occaision too."  
  
Looking outside, he said, "Start the special effects, I'm heading for the roof."  
  
Maruyama gulped, and pulled the remote from his pocket. He hoped the automatic computer controls worked as well as the IT people claimed it would.  
  
***  
  
"Damn, she's good!" Ryouga mumurred under his breath as he looked on from a rooftop. He couldn't believe how scared she had the crooks, then again, the Ranma he knew would also have the crooks on the run, just not like this. It was almost poetic the way she was blasting them!  
  
That was when he looked to the side, and saw....  
  
It wasn't possible. HOW could that thing get here without them seeing it?  
  
As he watched a figure appeared out of a mist. "So, a little heroine. You should go home little girl, my affairs are none of your business."  
  
Ryouga growled as he readied a weapon.  
  
***  
  
Gem turned and gasped. A three story dragon, waving it's tail, and sending a stream of foul smelling smoke down to the street looked directly at her. The problem was she couldn't sense it! It was there, but there wasn't any chi! She started to back away.  
  
"Ah...so the little girl is scared of my pet. Run, and you will not be harmed. Attack, and then I have no choice but to let him go." Said the man in the grey suit and cape.  
  
Gem shuddered, wondering at what sort of horror would not even have a trace of life in it. This had to be the person screwing with her family. "I am GEM! I will not allow you to harm the people of this district! You will pay!"  
  
"No, it doesn't work that way little girl," the man said as he noted his gang getting away and taking the unconcious with them. "If you attack me, then there is nothing to hold my pet, and the others that I have, away from the populance."  
  
Gem growled, and her eyes lit up further behind her mask. There had to be something. Anything she could do.  
  
Suddenly, the boss's head was hit by something small and he went down. Before she could do anything, the dragon roared, and a voice from the rooftop shouted, "Now Gem! Strike!"  
  
Gem didn't waste time, and shouted her attack...which went right through the beast. Then it roared again, and something came out from the mouth and struck her, hard, and for some reason it was becoming very dark....  
  
***  
  
Ryouga looked down and leapt to Gem as she collapsed. From his angle, he saw something coming from near the things mouth, and it struck her hard. He had to get her away in order to make sure she was fine. The enemy could get away for now, but Ranma had to be kept alive. Nodoka would kill him if her daughter had a scratch on her.  
  
***  
  
Gem groaned a bit as she was being carried over the rooftops in the somebodies arms. Strong, arms, that were very comfortable at the moment. It was like when she was being carried to bed as a child, and it was nice. Not really conscience of her actions, she leaned into the body more, just wanting to sleep for a little while.  
  
Too soon the arms placed he down, and a voice called out, "Ranma, are you all right? Ranma? RANMA!"  
  
Gem woke up fully, and looked into the eyes of the person who got her out of there. A handsome person who wore a mask, had a wide brimed, black hat on, and a cape. "Who..."  
  
"You can call me Z, Gem. I'm glad you're all-right, but I think your boyfriend is looking for you. He's close by, just look for him."  
  
The man leapt down to the street before Gem could completely get her wits. Once she did, she said, "Oh my God....I have a protector....What the hell happened to my world?!"  
  
***  
  
"You're going to be OK boss, but whatever happened left a bump on your head."  
  
The boss groaned. "At least we got away. We're going to need more than paper mache rockets next time. If we have real magical girls, then we have to plan the next job extremely carefully."  
  
***  
  
Ranma looked around and then leapt into an alley just behind the building. She had to find the person who had her transformation item, or something similar. At least something that could lend her power in order to take care of these creatures. What happened scared her unlike anything had before.  
  
That creature was alive. It responded, it attacked, and it reacted, so it wasn't an illusion. Worse, she could feel where her chest was stinging, and she was sure that if it wasn't for her training, and everyone who attacked her all the time, then she would have been dead. The dragons flame weapon had hit her with some impact, and since it was fire coming her way, it wasn't an ordinary breath weapon.  
  
But what type of creature didn't give off Ki or Chi?!  
  
She was worried, but more, she had to appear. Since no one was around, she detransformed slower than she had at home, and this time managed to come out with all of her clothing intact. A transformation item was definately at the top of her list. Yep, no way was she going to put up with this for long.  
  
Then again, it meant the end of her date, without her getting into trouble, or having to pretend anymore. Hopefully, Ryouga would be lost and that would be the end of it, although she would have to put in at least a half hour of looking for him. She muttered to herself as she left the alley, "Baka, he almost always disappears when a good fight happens if someone doesn't keep an eye on him."  
  
"Ranma-chan! I thought you were lost when the explosion happened." Said Ryouga as she exited the darkness. "Do you know who was fighting? It sounded like a good battle."  
  
Ranma's eyes widened at the impossibility. The one person on the planet who couldn't cross the street without getting lost unless he had a GPS unit was here, next to her? As she looked at the boy in wonder, causing him to blush heavily, she thought to herself, 'Ryouga is able to find where he's going? He's next to me? He was able to find me in less than a week? If I find whatever God or Goddess did this to me, then I am going to get them. This is just too weird!'  
  
Ryouga just looked at Ranma as her eyes were wide and shining. Gods, she was so beautiful like that. Her delightful face, those short breaths that did so much for her chest, those full, kissable lips...  
  
Ryouga started to stab himself with the other end of the small weapons he and Ranma's mother had prepared earlier. Such evil thoughts were to be kept away. Besides, he had Akari, and she loved him. There was no room in his life for such a wonderful girlfriend as Ranma made.  
  
Ranma just blinked as Ryouga turned to the wall as started to pound it with his head.  
  
***  
  
He blinked while reading the report.  
  
Someone in the organization was playing a joke. The men were ok, and they hadn't suffered any real harm, so why this tale of a 'Magical' girl. Did they think he was stupid?  
  
Well, he had expected some of them to fool around, and he knew the possibility of them just trying to show off, so nothing had happened that wasn't expected.  
  
Now, to plan the next series of strikes while keeping these people quiet. Having them spread rumours within the organization was bad enough.  
  
However...  
  
Perhaps...  
  
Maybe create a heroine so that his people could get away? That would keep to the mindset of the Japanese people, and he could have the two 'Antagonists' play off against each other while the real work took place. It would work, but planning it would set the organization back a few days.  
  
Now, how to find the perfect patsy if they wanted someone incompetent, or to find the perfect female atlete who could fulfill this expectation.  
  
Decisions, decisions...  
  
***  
  
Akane was angry. Watching carefully out her curtained windows, she was now convinced that Ryouga's ability to get lost was all an act. There was no other explanation for what she was seeing. The bastard had managed to fool them all, and he had the audacity to try and steal HER fiance. She was first. She had proposed. Ranma was HERS!  
  
And Akane couldn't do a damn thing but watch, because if she interfered, it would make her look bad.  
  
Ryouga was slowly walking Ranma to the house. Not much in itself, but when you took in the fact that Ranma was just staring at Ryouga, with an expression that showed she was a bit...dizzy, and she was obviously NOT leading, one had to wonder. Especially since Ryouga was going directly towards the front door. But the thing that REALLY made Akane angry was the way Ranma was walking. Gone was the confident stride, replaced with a slightly awkward walk, one that indicated that her hip area was somewhat...sore.  
  
When the next day came, if Ryouga made one wrong move...  
  
He would learn, the hard way, what he had forced her to do to Ranma.  
  
***  
  
The thoughts going on in Ranma's mind were somewhat different, and she had let Ryouga lead because the longer he did, the more likely he would get lost, and she would have time to sit down and really think about what happened. At the moment, things were too confusing to be real. She had dismissed it earlier, but was it possible she was still dreaming?  
  
First the whole thing with AKANE, the one most likely to not want a marriage, proposing, and acting like the 'pervert' she always accused her of being. Then the date, which was undisturbed. An unprecidented event in her life as everytime she went on a date before, something or someone had disturbed it, well except for that time with Kuno, of all people. And the battle, which should have been something as simple as stoping those idiots stealing from a bank in Nerima. Only idiots would think they could do that and get away with it, but they did. And it was thanks to a guy with a pet dragon.  
  
But Ryouga being in the right place at the right time? That was when everything became surreal.  
  
How had he found her, and why was it after the fight?  
  
Who was that mysterious masked man?  
  
What was going on?  
  
Why had they just walked into a house?  
  
Ranma blinked. Walked into a house?!?  
  
She looked around, and then gulped. Ryouga had manage to lead her straight home! Looking at her watch, she noticed that it had only taken fifteen minutes, and that was unthinkable.  
  
Her exaustion, her still aching body, and her ability to think reasonably shut down at that point and she fainted.  
  
***  
  
Ryouga was worried.  
  
Ranma had been silent all the way back to her house, although he did wonder how they arrived so soon. And the way she was staring at him was beginning to make him think thoughts best left buried.  
  
It was when Ranma started to collapse that he quickly grabbed her around the back and looked into her face. Wondering if she had been injured by that blast earlier. She was weaker than his Ranma, so it was likely that the strain of bringing out her magical form had overwealmed her. Sighing, he let his head dip a bit. How could this happen to him?  
  
That was when the light turned on.  
  
***  
  
Nodoka looked at Ryouga and her daughter.  
  
If a simple kiss at the door was able to make her daughter faint, then it was time to make her decission.  
  
It was too soon to do much, at least as of yet, but she would start the process.  
  
Ryouga would make a good husband for her daughter when she finally graduated high school.  
  
***  
  
Mousse came back in the restaurant, and was still swigging the Sake that he had bought a little earlier. If he hadn't seen it himself, hadn't followed, he would never have believed it. No wonder Ranma was unbeatable.  
  
It also showed him why all those girls could never get Ranma to do what they wanted.  
  
"Where were you Mr. Part Time?" a voice stated more than asked.  
  
Mousse laughed. "Watching the most amazing things tonight. You know, I think I can make a big profit now. And if the tribe wants in on it, they had better rethink who they are."  
  
Cologne watched as the boy took a long swig of the bottle finishing it, and opened another. She would let this go, obviously the boy was extremely drunk, and no proper answers would be had. "Just don't mess up the tables, we will need the place neat for the lunch rush tommorow."  
  
Mousse laughed, long and loud. "No worries there Elder. I think that I'm actually going to start having some fun in Japan instead of just being a love-sick nuisance."  
  
Cologne shook her head and started heading upstairs to bed, "You're dreaming boy. You are still a nuisance."  
  
Laughing Mousse said, "You, who have trained the best female warriors of our generation have done it again. Just let me know, when you're ready, how you knew Ranma was a Magical Girl."  
  
He then chuged back the entire bottle, falling into a drunen sleep.  
  
Cologne sighed. The boy finally lost it. "Well tommorow is a new day. I just hope that this idiot has gotten his fantasies out of his mind."  
  
To be continued... 


	6. They say the way to a man's heart is

Ok, I don't know why, but has become dificult to work with when trying to put something up correctly. It keeps removing, redoing, and messing up half the story. It took about an hour to finaly type in what was needed. Sorry the formatting is not correctly done, but the people at have made their decisions.

(break)

Ranma blinked wearily as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Hair mussed, eyes bloodshot, and the pain in her hips was indication enough that this was not going to be a good day.

Worse yet, she fainted. Fainted like she was some weak little girl.

Of course, the earrings, the cute elaborate nightie, and the leftover make-up added to this look.

No wonder girls took so long in the wash room. Besides having to take off a lot of clothes just to pee, they had to remove all of the make-up, wash, use that alcohol stuff to clean out all the little particles, then apply moisturiser to reverse the effect of the alcohol. Then wait 2 to three minutes before applying the look they wanted for the day. Then, as she learned in school yesterday, there was the added inconvenience of having to reapply virtually her entire make-up that she put on in the morning every several hours, or less, depending on her activity.

If she ever heard anyone, such as her father, say that girls were weak, didn't know how to do anything, and time wasters ever again, she would make sure that they regretted their words for a good long time.

Of course, given the number of perverted boys in her school, it wouldn't take that long for it to happen. Then a tiny blast here, perhaps a pulled up pair of underpants, or maybe even a kick in where all those idiots seemed to think would be in order. The problem was she wouldn't be able to do it.

Her mother would disapprove.

Maybe she should ask Akane the secret of that mallet attack. At least it was something a lot of girls in the anime and manga that she'd been studying seemed to do...

Nodoka went around the kitchen in a bit of joy.

She was no longer worried about her daughter.

Nope, not one bit.

Her daughter had chosen her mate, and that mate was a strong, handsome martial artist, well able to teach the higher forms of martial arts.

Of course, this meant that she would have to convince them to have lots of babies. Lots and lots of tiny, cute, sweet, little babies.

Just not yet.

"My word! Auntie Nodoka, should you be dancing with hot soup in your hands?"

Nodoka looked over toward the young woman who spoke. "It's a joyous day, Kasumi. After breakfast is served, I need to prepare the formal tea set."

"Oh my, is something wrong?"

"No, Kasumi. Everything is just right." smiled Nodoka to her eldest daughter. She would have to see about getting her engaged as well. After all, she shouldn't feel left out. She wanted to know all of her daughters mates, and about their...

Sexual Endeavours

Part Six:

They say the way to a man's heart is...

A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2

Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.

Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.

Publishing rights:

Japan by

Shogakukan Inc. Tokyo

Hong Kong by

Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.

North America by

Viz Inc.

Written by Ichinohei Hitomi

With help from Robert Haynie and the people on #Akane

Two weeks.

Two weeks had been wasted in a waiting game.

_It's amazing how calm everything is, all things considered. No challengers coming out of the woodwork, No attack helicopters chasing school girls, the fiancée squad being kind, and considerate of my feelings, and the school actually being normal for once. It was as if Kami-sama had declared that Nerima would be...well, not normal, but..._ Ranma paused as she realized that there was nothing she could compare it to.

No way could this be her life.

Of course, the time spent had not been without it's own weird excitement...

(break)

Finally ready for the day, Ranma went downstairs in order to have a good breakfast. She was still sore in her chest, and her bottom where she had unexpectedly hit the ground. She would have to remember that the dragon controlled by her enemy could strike with force instead of flames or energy as she had expected. A trip to the Manga stores would be in order for research materials.

Perhaps a trip to a speciality store featuring role playing books as well. She had always dealt with the monsters in the games as she had in life, as she had been thought experience was worth more, and the were things that were not written down. Unfortunately, that was no longer an option as protecting people was more important. Besides, everyone expected her to be a good girl, and that meant being studious.

Sitting down at her usual place, and concentrating on the food in front of her, she failed to notice that Akane was glaring at Ryouga, and that her date from the night before was nervously shuffling his food instead of eating it.

"Good morning, Ranma. Did you have a good time last night?" Kasumi asked lightly.

"Uh? Oh, yes I did, although my chest and bottom are still a bit sore," Ranma stated as she was making a mental list of the types of manga that she would need to pick up. Some magical girl ones would be good, although Wedding Peach and Miracle Girls were the only ones she remembered offhand...

She failed to notice her mother's eyes open and the glare / speculation she gave Ryouga.

She failed to notice Akane crack her chopsticks and stare lasers at Ryouga.

She failed to notice Nabiki's wide eyes as they scanned the three people sitting across from her.

She failed to notice Genma start to faint.

She dismissed Soun's wailing as that happened so often.

She did notice when Ryouga's hand grabbed hers and she was literally flying out of the house and down the street. _Have to add Project A-Ko to the Manga I pick up._

Everyone, (Except Soun who was too caught up in the fact that Ranma was now a 'fallen girl'), stayed still for a moment.

Kasumi's next comment caused everyone to fall on the ground, "I guess Ryouga wanted to play with Ranma-chan some more before school starts."

(break)

She still couldn't understand what happened that morning. Ryouga had pulled her directly to the school, actually going with her from class to class. It was as if he was afraid to leave her, even for a few seconds.

(Actually, Ryouga was trying to get lost, really lost so that Akane wouldn't kill him. Unfortunately for him, his direction sense made him get lost, getting lost, so that it seemed he could find his way where he wanted to go, whenever he wanted. All it ended up doing was fuel rumours, raise Akane's temper, and endear him to Nodoka.)

Then again, she was trying to find some way to stay here as her mother had somehow gotten the idea that she should go to a private school. Fortunately, it was unlikely as they didn't have the money, but the brochures that were on the table...

(break)

"This is a good idea, Ukyou, but there are a few...considerations...that need to be taken into account." Nodoka stated as she had tea with one of the girls who was after her daughter.

Ukyou smiled, looking out the window of the café for a moment. "At least consider it. I know it's on the expensive side, but I'm more than willing to support my girlfriends education."

Nodoka's eyebrow raised at that, "You're willing to support Ranma?"

Ukyou looked Nodoka right in the eye. "I will always support Ranma. No matter what, no matter how. She's a bright, intelligent girl, one who is just discovering herself. Right now, however, her education is important. She may be able to kill a Kami, but she wouldn't be able to survive in today's world without a proper education. I admit, the thought of a stay at home wife is nice, but I want Ranma to have options other than raising children or taking care of our home."

"You're serious."

"Very serious. I love Ranma, and am willing to do all I can to protect her. I understand her better than everyone else, considering that almost everyone considers me a boy. I'm also willing to be with her and defend her virtue, rather than take advantage of her." Ukyou stated in an intense voice. "I'm willing to be her prince, her knight in shining armour, and an equal partner. I want Ranma as my wife, and I am willing to commit everything I have to prove it."

Nodoka nodded. "As you are serious about this, I will consider it. I have to observe her behaviour a little more, and if I feel she can benefit from going to an academy for the elite, I will give my permission. You must be willing to prove to me, however, that you are considering the future."

Ukyou rose and bowed, and placed several booklets in front of the Saotome matriarch. "I will take my leave of you then. At the very least, look over these and consider their qualifications."

Nodoka sighed as she watched the girl go to pay the bill. She hadn't the heart to tell her that Ranma was clearly smitten with Ryouga. Then again, if he proved unreliable she would be well worth considering. Looking at the first booklet, she noticed that it was a private academy for girls. Frowning, she then looked thought all the booklets quickly. "Well, it seems someone wants to keep Ryouga away from my daughter..."

(break)

Yeah right. Like she would go to an all girls school. First time in the shower, and she'd be killed.

Still, in a way she wished that things wouldn't go back to normal. She had wished he would get a clue, understand, and be nice and respectful. The new attitude that Kuno had was what really drove it home that someone had enchanted the entire district, if not the city...

(break)

"Ah, Ranma, lovely day isn't it?" Tatewaki said as he was entering the school in uniform.

Ranma blinked and said, "Ah...yes it is, sempai. Is there something special about it?"

"No, but I would like to teach you the proper way to hold a sword, instead of using your fists." he chuckled.

Ok, Kuno being nice, offering to train her, and not spouting off that Ranma defeated him by using magic of some type. "Are you feeling all right, sempai?"

"Quite well. Better than I have for years," the former 'Blue Thunder' stated as he left for class.

"Ok," Ranma murmured to herself, "have to add...What manga can explain this?"

Nabiki was frozen as she looked on. Her entire empire was falling apart as the linchpin had always been the stupidity of the Kuno's. She didn't understand anything anymore, and was disparately trying to find a way to return things to normal without being too obvious. The weirdness factor was already rising in her home.

She had seen and experienced the impossible, and was literally too scared to say anything out loud in fear that whatever was happening would capture her as well. Everything that defined her life was gone. It was as if the universe had decided to throw out all the rules that pertained to reality.

Ranma being obvious in having sex with Ryouga.

Akane now dressing and acting like a boy.

Shampoo being calm, nice, and normal in that she was acting like a school girl who didn't have super strength.

The principal without a palm tree on his head.

Kuno being around people without being delusional.

Mouse, attending school, not bothering Shampoo, and acting like Ranma's older brother.

And to top it off, people were now going to Yuka for their information, without paying for it.

The only one in the entire school that was acting semi-normally was Ukyou, and there was no telling when the weird factor would strike the chef. How had things slipped so far out of her control?

How could she get back into control?

(break)

With everything happening as it was, what else could go wrong with her life?

(break)

"It just doesn't add up." Sakura muttered to herself as she travelled through the Juku. "Ranma should have been here at least once this week, and he hasn't called in at all."

She'd finally figured out how to code the text of the program into a very small space, and was waiting to present the scheme to the others, but with Ranma writing the main story, she'd had to wait longer than expected. Whatever was the matter, it had to be big given his average day. She wondered how much would be added to the story from the latest adventure.

"Sakura, wait up!" a voice called from behind her.

She sighed, then turned around to look at Misa. "What is it?"

"Did you hear the latest?"

Gossip again. If it wasn't being boy crazy, it was gossip. How she qualified to enter the Juku was beyond her. "Hear what?"

"Guess what's been confirmed!"

"What."

"Tendo Akane is a lesbian, and she's trying to get into Ranma's panties."

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Right. Sure. It's true. Do you realize that someone says that at least once or twice a week?"

"But it's been confirmed by her friends!"

Grabbing Misa by the shoulder, Sakura looked into her eyes and said slowly, so that the girl in front of her would understand. "First, Ranma would not willingly wear women's clothes for extended periods. It would really hurt him if she was splashed with hot water given the size difference. Second, despite the rumours, Akane is after Ranma. A male Ranma. Third, before you say it, Ukyou is not a lesbian either. She just has to pretend to be a boy because of family honour. Fourth, other rumours have Ranma dating men. Only Kuno believes that. Ranma's straight, and will date girls, not boys."

"But..."

"Misa, I'll head to Nerima myself, and I'll prove these rumours wrong." said an exasperated Sakura as she headed to her next class.

(break)

"How is the investigation going, Ota-kun" the captain asked at the daily meeting.

"Not too good. At first I thought we were dealing with a group of high technology criminals, but we finished examining some of the camera's that were just outside the banks area. It seems as though we have a level three incident. I must warn you that it's currently unconfirmed, however, the tapes seem to bear out this conclusion.

Captain Isahikawa groaned. "Are you sure that it isn't one of the locals?"

Ota grimaced. "Fairly sure. Some of the evidence doesn't fit into the level three incident files, so it may be one of the others passing through."

"Do you know how much trouble a level three would bring to this area? We already have enough trouble keeping tabs on the group that follows that Ranma kid!" Officer Kinomoto Taya exclaimed as she lay her head on her desk. "We're still doing the paperwork on that fight they had a month ago!"

Lieutenant Katagiri Ota face took on a stern expression. "There is something else you should know. I managed to find two witnesses that were willing to talk, and they said that after the explosion, a girl came down from the sky. It gets sketchy from there, but they ran after a dragon appeared."

The captain shook his head, "Where are you going with this?"

"That's the main problem. According to the physical evidence, there was some type of energy blast that marked a wall. On the other hand, we found chemical residue and, believe it or not, clear plastic dumped all over the place. We're not sure why that is, but it seems that the plastic contained some type of low level explosive. This is not consistent with the level three incidents in past, which is why we have some confusion. I would like to investigate further, but if it is a level three, standing orders are not to interfere or determine who the level three is.

"This is fucking perfect!" Kinomoto shouted. "How the hell are we supposed to keep everyone safe! If there is a level three, and they connect with the local loons, then the we could have more than just some property damage!"

"OK, for now, we classify the incident as officially unsolved. Ota, you will continue your investigation discretely, and I mean discretely. I want a description, and install those new mini cams in likely spots for a confrontation. Taya, I want you to begin surveillance of the martial artists. Concentrate on Ranma, since everything seems to revolve around him."

(break)

Unbelievable as it seemed, he couldn't find a person to become an 'adversary', even after two weeks of searching. Finding a young girl, who was physically fit and willing to become a criminal, was not easy. It was especially hard as the person would have to have extraordinary talent in the fighting arts. The 'Magical Girl' aspect would have to wait as the next scheduled crime was tonight. Several millions in jewels were to be had, although come to think of it, it may not be the best idea.

He had the 'villainous hero', and he was looking for someone to create a 'beautiful heroic adversary' who would always fail, but perhaps stealing a lot was not in the best interest, especially this early in the game. The crime was planned, but something had to change to make it seem as though there was something more to the crimes, something to throw off the officials when they started to investigate. Yes, a slight change in plans was necessary.

He picked up the encoded phone, dialled, and waited for an answer. "When the market opens, I only want a single cherry. Nothing else is to be bought."

Hanging up, he grinned. Long term goals were better than short term gain.

(break)

This wasn't right. The tension that was prevalent in the area was now tinged with a desperate edge. The shopkeepers, the shoppers, and everyone she saw was almost literally ready to jump behind any available object. People were on the verge of panic.

Sakura went up to one of the snack machines, and caused a slight young man who was trying to purchase a beer to scream. Suddenly everyone on the street was running. Sakura blinked as she hadn't seen something like this except in a monster movie marathon that the boys had insisted they watch one time. It was as hokey in real life as it was in the film. Sighing, she shook her head and looked at the rather pathetic representation of the human species in front of her. "Why is everyone acting like the world is about to end."

Gosunkugi, the said pathetic representation of humanity responded, "Because it is!"

Sakura blinked, then rolled her eyes, "OK...How. Alien invasion, the Apocalypse, a war of the Gods, Gojira is coming for a visit?"

"Any and all of the above, if not worse!" a distraught Gosunkugi wailed, "We've already seen the four western signs of the Apocalypse!"

Rubbing her forehead, Sakura asked, "And these four signs are..."

Hikaru Blinked. Blinked so hard that a person could actually hear the blink, thus the capitalization. There was a girl talking to him. A very pretty, very beautiful girl, an intelligent girl. She wanted to know what he had to say, what he knew, what his ideas were. She was interested in HIM!

Poor Sakura didn't realize what she had unleashed.

The 'Dogs Of War' had nothing on a Gosunkugi male in terms of obsession, especially when it concerned a female of the human species.

With Gosunkugi Hikaru, that could be said to be a female, any female, who showed the tiniest kindness to him. Having a girl, other than his mother, show him kindness was so rear, it was to be treasured beyond all the riches in the world. To have a female who was obviously intelligent and asking HIS opinion on a subject, any subject, that was something to swoon over. To have one clearly interested in his area of expertise? Hikaru had to make her his, no matter what the cost.

Standing tall, he let some of his hair fall over his eyes trying to take on a look of mystery.

Sakura groaned internally, remembering Ranma's comment on the weirdo's of this region, and why he recommended NOT talking with people on the street if you could help it.

"Western religion has stated that there will come an Apocalypse, one where mankind will struggle to survive forces beyond their comprehension, beyond that which is known, and that will change the world. In each telling, there are the four signs, the four precursor's to this great disaster. This has led to the adoption of the 'Four Horsemen' as the most common explanation of the precursor's of the apocalypse. They are known as Famine, Sickness, Death, and Fear. Of all of them, Fear is to take the most.

"However, this is not necessarily what the four signs will be.

"For those of us here, in this mysterious and strange region in the City of Tokyo, we have our own legends, our own deeply disturbing signs, and these are considered more accurate than those of the Western 'Four Horsemen'.

"The first sign is that which will never be. For if it comes to pass, it means that the gates to hell have cracked open, and all of the denizens of the nine hells have lined up to take the Lands of Mortality on the command of the Dark Lords of the Infernal Planes.

"The second sign is that of a reversal, for it means that the God's and Goddesses, and all the Kami of the land have turned their backs upon the Lands of Mortality. They will not interfere unless Mortality's champion can defeat the Three Representatives of the Dark Lords.

"The third sign is that of Loss, for it is said that Loss will rise and contain the control that Mortals have attained in their lives and over the elements of the Lands of Mortality.

"The last sign is that of intense sanity, for that is the what is needed for the denizens of hells to torment the Mortals of the lands of Mortality.

"These have occurred in the following manner:

"First, Saotome Ranma, who has repeated hated his cursed life, and has always declared his Manliness, to the Point of Stupidity at times, has embraced her cursed and has become the most Feminine of all Females.

"Second, Tendo Akane has become enamoured with Ranma, and has done all she could to become male. This in response to the obvious courting that Hibiki Ryouga has been doing. He has become the most Romantic Male that the women of Furinken have seen, protecting her honour above all. Shampoo, of the Amazons has decided that she should become a scholar instead of following her barbaric cultural upbringing. Mousse, the most deadly of the local Martial Artists, has become her older brother, and talks to her constantly, lending an understanding ear and protecting her honour from unwelcome suitors.

"Third, control has been lost by Tendo Nabiki, whose reputation touches all. She has not been able to control the rumours, control the situations, or control people as she has before. Her power has been broken.

"Finally, the most insane of the students, Kuno Tatewaki, has acknowledged that he was wrong, and has recognized Ranma's situation, going so far as to apologize in front of all of the students knowing that he would face Loss of Status. However, he has gained in status because of his recognition of the problem, and of his sincere turnaround.

"Thus have the four signs, that Nerima will recognize, been met."

Sakura Blinked. See above for the explanation as it is not necessary to repeat it. "You mean that's all? Are you sure it isn't a joke?"

Gosunkugi slowly raised his head, his sunken and tired eyes lending an eerie feel to the situation, at least he liked to think so, "It is the unfortunate truth, and it affects all who are here. While no battles have happened, and all has been peaceful, this is but the calm before the eventual storm, where all will be held in thrall to the Doom."

"No fights and battles? I would think that people would like that." Sakura replied.

"Normally they would, but with what has happened, the signs indicate that something supernatural is happening, and all are afraid and wary. The Doom is at hand unless the Champion appears, and only if she is able to defeat the evil that threatens the populace."

Sakura narrowed her eyes, "And how do you know that the 'champion' that you speak of will be female?"

Hikaru laughed, "For all our history, the times of peace, the times of understanding have been led by the female of the species. Indeed, I would think a, to use the modern usage, 'Maho Shojo' will appear, as they have in past. For the fight against the dark Lords of the Infernal Planes is never ending."

"You bring up many...interesting speculations."

Hikaru reached into his pocket and gave her his meishi, "If you wish to know more, contact me, and I will be happy to tell you what you need to know."

Sakura bowed, "Thank you, I may just do that."

Hikaru bowed back and left. He had to find that shop he was in the other day and buy a couple of the kimono. Now that he had hooked her, she needed to see the true magician that he was. Impressions were important, and he had to ensure that they were good one. Time to check out that book in the library that described how to act mysteriously powerful in order to impress friend and enemies.

Sakura shook her head as the skinny boy left. She would have to talk to him again, since he had a VERY good imagination. That, or the poor boy was the victim of an elaborate practical joke. "I best not let Ranma know that I'm here and observe. This sounds like something out of his story."

She started, could that be it? Ranma was intelligent enough, so could he have influenced the entire area in order to test out his story?

Snorting, Sakura didn't have to think about it. It was just the thing he would do.

(break)

This operation was not going to make any money.

They all knew this, but with what they had witnessed last time, with that Gem character, it was necessary.

Two minutes to show time, all was in place.

(break)

Ranma was actually having a good time. The girls that Akane usually hung around with, Yuka and Sayuri, were a fountain of knowledge about Shojo manga, and especially, Magical Girls. This would expand her research opportunities, especially as the Tendo household was devoid of such manga. Nabiki's tastes ran more to the unusual, not useful ones, such as sports, Akane's tastes ran more to the shonen style as she was interested in power more than skill, and Kasumi, she didn't even want to try and look at what she read or collected. Given how peaceful, and, well brain dead she seemed, whatever she read was obviously eating her brain, or that was the impression she had. Besides, they liked ice cream as much as she did, and it did taste better when one ate it slowly. Especially the chocolate fudge liberally poured over the top.

Sayuri shook her head, "I can't believe the look on your face, Ranma. Do you realize that you look like you're having an orgasm?"

Ranma blushed, "Sa-Yu-Ri...Do YOU have to say that?"

Sayuri giggled, "Come on, Ranma, don't tell me that you've never thought about it. I mean you've got Akane, Ukyo, Ryouga, and Shampoo after you!"

Yuka sighed, especially since Sayuri was always a bit of a pervert. "What she means is that you're the most popular student at school. She's thinking of how many people want to get into your panties. This includes Akane, well, ESPECIALLY Akane."

Ranma looked at Yuka, "What do you mean? I know she proposed to me the other day on the way to school, but I sort of expect that by now. She isn't the most subtle of people."

Sayuri was looking at Yuka, she smelled good gossip, and this was the sort of stuff she lived for. ""Tell all Yuka."

Yuka grimaced at both her companions. She still couldn't get the strange comments out of her head, although she always felt that Akane leaned that way. Besides her declaration of hating men, she was a lot like a boy herself. "Well, about two weeks ago, I was passing an alley, and I heard Akane declare that she wanted in your panties. As in she was jealous of Ryouga, and wanted to prevent him from having sex with you. She wants to be the only one to have sex with you."

Ranma's blush became fierce, almost as red as her hair. "You're kidding! Akane always acts as if sex is the worst thing in the universe!"

Sayuri giggled even more. This was great gossip, and what's more, it fit perfectly! "Well, that may be because of your curse to turn into a boy. She's interested in you as a girl, not as a boy. Of course, she couldn't admit that openly, at least not with how all those boys act!"

Ranma stuck her tongue out. "As if the boys in school were worth much. Do you know...wait you do. They are annoying, cloying, immature kids who think the greatest thing in the world is to see our breasts!"

Yuka glanced at the greatest contradiction she knew. Here was Ranma, the only person who was a blend of male and female. Of innocence and maturity, and she was clueless. Yuka blamed Ranma's father naturally. She had the unfortunate opportunity to meet the bastard once, and it was a wonder that the girl in front of her turned out so well. Given how Ranma was acting recently, it was obvious that the real curse was to turn into a boy. As a girl, Ranma was MUCH more intelligent and outgoing. "What about Ryouga, and how he acts around you."

Ranma blushed again, "Well, he's an old friend, and he's fairly handsome..."

Ranma realized she would have to act a bit ditzy, and her smile started to slightly increase, as if unconsciously. Unless she wanted to alert who had created this situation, she would have to make this the greatest acting job in the universe. "...cute, has the nicest smile, and he's strong and...handsome." Ranma let off a small sigh that seemed unconscious. "Not that I'm interested or anything."

Yuka and Sayuri looked at each other. The girl had it bad for Ryouga.

"You know, he's very protective of you," Yuka said, "I wonder how many fights with your other suitors he'll get into?"

Ranma groaned, "That's all I need. Fights which don't need to happen."

"You know, it's almost like the Iczar manga, with you being the priestess!" Sayuri exclaimed.

"I don't know about that, Iczar wasn't after her to marry until much later, and even then, the love she showed wasn't exactly that of a lover."

"I don't know, she was rather obvious in how much she lusted after the priestess."

The discussion degenerated into the motivations of various characters in manga. It got silly after that.

(break)

They weren't going to make any money on this particular job, but the boss insisted that only a small ruby be taken from the store. Why, he couldn't imagine, but Maruyama Tsuneyo was not one to back out. The appearance of that Gem might have something to do with it. This mission was more like a strategic test than one for making money like crazy. "You're expecting something, aren't you?"

The boss looked at him, his monocle, gleaming in the light. "Perhaps. We should know what opponents are there, and the only thing that will be taken is the ruby. If She shows up again, I'll be ready, however, this will also throw the police into chaos as they will need to determine what the motive was in stealing only one small jewel rather than as much as we can get in the store; a ready made situation which will make them chase ghosts instead of really following our crime spree."

"Whatever you say boss. I'll make sure the distractions are ready."

(break)

As the three girls were heading home, a small explosion took place, and the neighbourhood stared as beings in very strange costumes appeared and started to attack a small jewellery store. It was like one of those Sentai shows that entertained the younger kids.

"Do you think we walked onto a film set?" Yuka asked.

"Could be, what do you think Ranma?" Sayuri replied.

Yuka looked when Ranma didn't respond. "She's gone."

A sudden shout came from above. "STOP! Jewels are to enhance one's beauty, not to be taken as a prize."

Everyone looked up and saw the girl in a very sexy leather outfit. One with heels which a person should not be able to stand on. She leapt down and stated, "Descending upon evil like an Angel, I am GEM. I will stop your marauding and deliver you to justice."

The reactions were varied.

Yuka and Sayuri were sure they were on a television show that they didn't know was filming.

The boss frowned, it seemed that this magical girl was protecting this area. This was bad as it was the best one for minimum police interference.

An off-duty Officer Kinomoto was now banging her head against a handy pole. The paperwork on this would be murder.

Sakura looked and smiled. She had her target, and whispered, "Ranma!"

To be continued...


	7. A loaf of Bread, A wheel of Cheese

Kinomoto Taya usually loved mornings.

She loved waking to the city, seeing the bright smiles of school children, and having a good cup of fragrant coffee.

This particular morning could go to hell for all she cared.

It started with the radio, broadcasting a small report on the new urban legend. Not like the legend that Ranma and his 'friends' had created around their activities, but one that REALLY troubled her. She really couldn't see the point of having a person dressed like that becoming a hero.

What was worse was the amateur video that had popped up and was being broadcast on several channels. The stations just had to show the girls panties as their first shot, the fluttering skirt, and then catching the girl in a pose that, to her mind, screamed sex. If, like the usual Class Three incidents, this got well known, they would have to start production on films to cover everything up. Already, people in the department were starting to spin the incident off as an aberration, while others were starting to gather data to make a fictitious film company that was backdated at least a year.

As she was the officer on scene, even off duty, she was expecting the worst duty to fall to her.

It was a duty that she DIDN'T want as she had heard some horror stories from the two people in her station that already had the responsibility of the Class Two incidents. She had also met others in the 'police conventions' that also had that duty thanks to those two. All of them were two fisted drinkers whenever they got the chance.

Looking at her coffee, she made a decision. It would be a first, but she needed it, and she could always have a case delivered this morning. She picked up the phone and called a discrete distributor while thinking, 'Thank god that it wasn't classified as a type Four or Five. Covering up a giant robot or something like that would be hell. We don't have enough construction teams to deal with that in this area.'

* * *

Colonge almost spit out her tea at what she was seeing. Mr. Part Time, as crazy as it sounded, was correct. Ranma had become a magical girl.

She smirked as she had the thought, 'Just like my games. I can have some fun with this if I can remember where I put those old toys from when I was a child.'

Shampoo was staring at the television screen.

What she was seeing defied imagination, was impossible, and, not surprisingly, completely within character for the area she lived in.

On the screen was Ranma, dressed in a very provocative fighting suit. She was blasting the bad guys with her Ki and sending them napping. It seemed unreal, like all television battles of this nature, what with the extreme use of Ki shots and the fact that it didn't seem she was hitting them with enough force to send them flying like that. Of course, this was the first time that she had seem a battle where the opponent was so outclassed by the fighter, and the fighter being careful not to kill the idiot in front of her.

Then she saw something which broke her heart.

The villain had shot something from the sleeve of his coat at Ranma, and she was suddenly choking without an obvious reason. Whatever it was, this blackguard was powerful in his own right. Thats when a man with a cloak, a mask, and an unusual hat came down, tossed something at the bad guy, and picked up Ranma and made off with her. The villains disappeared in a cloud of smoke soon after that.

Ranma was one of the mystical warriors of Japan.

"So what do you think of what you just saw Great-Granddaughter?"

"Aya! She strong! She must be descendent of Xena! Would be good to help if knew who was!"

Cologne grimaced. Her great granddaughter was an idiot if she didn't know who that was. Of course, given how she acted these past few weeks, it was more likely she was concerned with what was happening with Ranma's 'becoming a girl in order to escape reality'. It was tempting, oh so tempting to hit her upside the head with her staff, but that wouldn't be any fun. As it was, she was glad that Shampoo had failed in her...

Sexual Endeavours

Part Seven:

A loaf of bread,

A wheel of cheese,

A bottle of wine

And...

A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2

Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2002 by Takahashi Rumiko.

Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.

Publishing rights:Japan byShogakukan Inc. Tokyo

Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.

North America by Viz Inc.

Written by Ichinohei Hitomi

With help from Robert Haynie and the people on #Akane

Sakura was smirking to herself as she prepared to go to school. From all that she had learned yesterday, and from the copy of the story that she had, Ranma was making the script come to life. How he got the idiots of the area to have an adversary, and get the others to start creating a 'magical girl' team was beyond her, but she and the others could have a lot of fun with this.

"Ranma," she muttered to herself, "You've got the craziest ways of testing out programs and stories, then again, you can get away with it if that skinny character is what you have to deal with daily."

Of course, everyone at the Juku knew the type of life Ranma led, so explaining this away was simply stating that something magical happened, and that the entire district was affected. The people who would 'get involved' to turn things back to normal would, of course, be his close friends in the Juku. That would not raise any eyebrows, and everyone would accept the status quo without letting any hints go about what speculations were.

The others were willing to go along and create a long term role-playing game in which they took the parts of a magical girls support team. Mix it up a bit and you had something like a science-police team, and that would be fun. They would know what was happening, and it was less dangerous than actually being involved in the action.

Hikaru stated that he had the perfect place to set up a 'secret base' for their operations, which they would check over tonight.

Now, to think of what to tell Misa so that the gossip queen wouldn't spoil anything.

* * *

Nabiki was being cautious.

A lot of things were going wrong in the area, leaving most people in a slight state of shock. The exception to this was the class Ranma and Akane were in as people were accepting it as normal. Then again, of all the people in the school, they had the most experience with strange things happening.

However, this was not the only thing that was wrong, especially since factors outside of the school were also contributing to the strange mess that was Nerima. If it had only affected the members of the so-called 'Nerima Wrecking Crew', that would be one thing. After all, given the chaos that had happened in past, with the various chases, kidnappings, trips, and magical elements, then she would put it down as something all of the people who were affected had been involved in.

When combined with other things, the people in Nerima were nervous, itchy, and waiting for the big one.

Examples of the changes were numerous:

1. No attack helicopters chasing schoolgirl waitresses

2. No reports of Ataru Moroboshi doing something perverted

3. The four dorks, as they were known, not causing appreciable damage in trying to get Lum to notice them.

4. Tatewaki Kuno was actually acting like a person instead of someone out of Samurai literature

5. Principal Kuno was acting as a real school administrator instead of a demented version of a Hawaiian tourist.

6. No unusual people entering the district and making a nuisance of themselves.

7. There hadn't been a decent amount of destruction in almost three weeks.

Entire industries depended on the destruction and violence that occured in the district, and various contractors were getting worried. They had come to her to ask when things would get back to normal as they would have to close down otherwise. The insurance people were just the opposite. They had asked if she could do something to make sure that things were going to stay as it was.

Too many things depended on her finding out what was happening.

Unfortunately, the targets of her investigations were now intelligent enough so that they would not just blurt out the first thing that was said, and Kodachi had been sent on a scholastic trip by her family about a month and a half before and was not expected back for at least another three months, so that was out. Her last chance to find out anything from these people was to go to the estate and find that servant of theirs, Sasuke.

If this didn't work, she was unsure what, or who to try next.

* * *

"Kinomoto, a moment of your time please." Captain Isahikawa stated as he finished the morning meeting. 

Taya groaned silently to herself. Here it was, the expected trouble, and her new assignment. By the various Gods, she was happy to have placed the order earlier this morning as she was going to need the stimulus soon. "Yes Captain."

The captain led her from the staff room to another part of the building, "I know this may be sudden, but it has been decided that you will be promoted to another department in the building."

"Promoted?"

"Yes. You were the officer on scene at yesterday's Class Three incident, and you know quite a bit of the Class Two's that are in the area, so you will be joining an elite unit. Ota will report his findings to you concerning the Class Three matter," The captain stated calmly. "You will not be demoted after this is over, by the way. The Central Department has decided to create a command centre here that you will run after the Class Three has run it's initial course."

"Wait a minute!" Taya exclaimed. "What the fuck do you mean by the 'initial course'?"

"Kinomoto, please watch your language. I may permit it, but as a person being placed second in command of a unit, and to be transferred to command within the year, you will have to watch your language more."

Taya blushed, "Sorry. I have always been outspoken."

The captain nodded. "Understandable. However, your new unit is, in part, political. You would do well to think before you speak. As to the 'initial course', command has experience in this, and have told me that these incidents tend to occur in cycles. Each cycle ranging from between 6 months to 2 years, and being followed by several more cycles. Also, the Class Three's may be the first of the incidents, as it may escalate to a Class Four, or even Five. Your unit will be in charge of investigation, and to some extent, cover up. Much as we do now with the Class Two's."

"Captain, we do not cover up the Class Two incidents. All we do is follow what is happening and file a report."

"True. However, Class Two's can be explained away to most people, and hidden from International view easily. Class Three's are a bit...Sticky. I happen to know since I was on a Class Three team in the Juban district until 6 months ago. You will have your work cut out for you, and you will need to make...friends...with any Class Threes."

Kinomoto blinked, and then stared at the captain beside her. "What do you mean Sir?"

"In Juban, the leader of the task force made contact, and and became friends, with the adventurer known as 'Sailor V'. This was before the appearance of the numerous 'Senshi'. We were assigned clean up and reporting duty, as well as investigating anything that was needed by that team. The things they fight are not within our abilities to handle at the present time, although research is being conducted into making the police able to combat these threats. Anyone, at the level of Captain and above, has been on one of these teams."

"What!" Taya hissed to Isahikawa. "You mean every one at Captain or above has this sort of experience?"

"Yes. We also keep an eye on possible replacements. You happen to be one. Also, you would do well to learn the politics. We cannot have what happens here in Japan make the major news, one of the reasons that the Sailor Senshi Manga was created. If it can be written off as fiction, then others will not pay attention to it, at least on the international scene. You would also do well to promote a 'reputation'. Officially become a drinker, or develop a side 'hobby' such as an anime obsession. It helps in your cover, and makes it look as though you are not really doing anything important. The force will pick up all the tabs for these 'obsessions'. You will keep all of these materials, and your pay grade will be increased 150 to make it seem like you have the money to spend on these hobbies. What you actually do with your pay increase is up to you.

"I would suggest moving into a new home for one. The apartment that you keep is fine, but too small for some of the things that you will need. You will also keep your real duties a secret, making it look like we transferred you because you were complaining, and we are trying to save face. I know you have some knowledge of the duties involved, but this is a detective's duty, not a public officer as we make it seem."

"I...understand...I guess." Taya replied, surprised at the real duties of the two she knew.

"You will come to understand in time. Remember that you need to have public face, and a face for the higher ups. If everything goes well, you will achieve the rank of Captain in another district as soon as your duties here are complete. That is, unless you want to stay. Surprisingly, a lot of the people in charge of a unit do not want to leave until they are sure that everything is relatively normal again. I chose to leave because I was becoming too well known as showing up at several of the incidents in the Juban district."

* * *

A lot had changed around Furinken, some of it for the better, some for the worse. The normal venues of entertainment had all but dried up. However, one of the more interesting ones was still in existence, although with a weird, but strangely normal paradigm shift. In this case, lunch had changed from observing the Akane Vs. Ranma while he tries to hide from the fiancees battle to Ranma gets wooed by girls acting like boys. Same people, for the most part, but with a new dynamic. Given what had happened in past, it was a new, bizarre, and utterly entertaining soap opera. The only differences were that Ryouga was the only male of this group contending for Ranma, and Ranma tended to keep her attention on him, and Shampoo had become the 'best girlfriend' instead of a contender. 

This time, however, one of the usual players was missing, not that anyone who was looking really noticed.

If one looked, however, they would have seen Shampoo off to herself in a little used are of the school yard. If they came close enough, they would have noticed the stream of tears that was making it's way down her face. They might not have known what was bothering her, but some of the girls would have tried to comfort her. Mousse definitely would have if he wasn't so concerned with keeping an eye on his 'little sister'.

As for Shampoo, she wept. All her suffering... all her trials... for nothing. Ranma wasn't even really a boy. Ranma wasn't her airen. Ranma was...a warrior from legend. As in the animated entertainment that was so popular here.

A small digression here to explain something. It is to be understood that the Amazon Nation, with very few exceptions, did not understand the concept of Fiction. They studied their history's, and their laws, as well as martial arts. In fact, it had been so long since anyone had seen any fiction, that youngsters took anything said as the unedited truth.

There were a few exceptions to this rule, and they were mostly among the ruling counsel. For instance, one of the people who understood fiction was Cologne. Then again, she had been imaginative as a child and had traveled a lot when she was younger.

In direct contrast, Shampoo did not understand. She enjoyed all of the stories on television, what little she saw of it thanks to the immense amount of studying she had to do on old potions, history's and various bits of sociology that her great grandmother forced her to look at, so she took what television she had seen as gospel. Not exactly the best thing to do, but she REALLY didn't know any better.

Thus, she believed that Sailor Moon-- which she had seen an entire three episodes of-- was historically correct.

Then it hit her.

'I can turn into a cat.'

'But not a talking cat.'

'But isn't there a potion that can let cats...'

There was. True, in the history of the Amazon Alchemical Arts this was widely regardes as the single most pointless potion of all. You give a cat a dose of the Talking Cat Potion and what you recieved was a long babble consisting of a desire for fish, mice, sleep, and a nice sunny spot.

But Shampoo... when a cat... was not your normal cat.

And in some fashion...she could be with Ranma.

Oddly enough, this was the ONLY Amazon potion that actually WORKED.

Now, Shampoo forgot one thing in her amazing ability to recall this potion. Ranma was scared of cats. This would cause a problem.

In addition, her subconscious, which had provided her with this amazing revelation had also made another conclusion, one which would cause even more trouble. If Ranma was a Mystical Warrior, then she needed a proper adviser, and no proper mystical warrior would be afraid of their adviser. And the only one who could be a proper adviser to a warrior woman was one from a village of warrior women.

She now knew her destiny.

She knew why she had come to this country.

She knew the reason behind the curse of Jusenkyo.

She knew her duty, and her charge.

She could take comfort in making sure that her charge was taken care of, and that she would find a proper mate.

If her charge wouldn't look for a proper mate, or was too ditsy to find one, then Shampoo would find one. And Ryouga, the lost boy, would definitely not be on the list. Perhaps Spatu...Ukyou if she could find any Nanniichuan. Surely that barrel could not be the last, at least if she was going to fulfill her destiny.

Now, she only had to get the right ingredients, and her great grandmother did have most of them available...

An after-school shopping trip seemed advisable for the remaining ingredients.

* * *

Ota grimaced as he got out of the forensics department. 

Nothing was making any sense.

The robbery from the night before had taken a ruby.

Not a large one either.

The ruby was only two carats, worth a little less than 300,000 yen as it was flawed. Why they would attack and take a flawed gem was something that didn't add up. The previous incident had the crooks, or beings, escape with more than 300,000,000 yen.

Then there were the telltales.

Although the area had been cleared, there was no sign of whatever it was that had caused that girl to choke like that. Some of the people in the labs had speculated that it was a gas attack, while others stated that it could have been some kind of micro garrote. The film that they had copies of was not clear enough to determine what it was given that it was taken with one of those new digital cameras.

What was even stranger was the chemical residue.

The previous residue turned out to be old newspapers. Well burned, but still old newspapers. The chemicals on the plastic, which were thought to be explosives, were confirmed as newspaper as well. Unless somehow the newspaper WAS the explosive.

This residue was simply mineral oil. A lot of mineral oil.

How such a thin layer of mineral oil could coat the street and the walls of the area was still a puzzle.

There was the evidenced of energy blasts, but that was considered normal.

Unless the plastic and newspapers made up the body of the previous monster.

And the...beings...that looked like people in silly costumes were really made out of mineral oil.

That would fit.

Especially with how they were thrown around like in a bad sentai show.

But where did the money and the flawed ruby come in?

And how the hell did paper parasols with fishing weights come into this?

* * *

"It's the first time I've seen you face to face in over two years." 

"True, but I wanted to apologize in person. I didn't believe you when you told me that a magical girl had interfered in the first acquisition."

"I wouldn't have believed it myself, if I hadn't experienced it."

"What do we know so far?"

"She has far above normal strength. Although she didn't look as though she was hitting hard, several of our people have large bruises, two have cracked ribs. The special effects seem to be effective with her, however. The gas module was a good idea, although I didn't think we would be using it this soon.

"Her bones have to be reinforced somehow, given the height she is able to drop from. The people in the area didn't run, and seemed to be used to someone jumping from rooftops. This means that she's been seen before, and probably will again. The public looked on and just made comments on the fight, not even taking the time to phone the police.

"She's also fast. Gem was able to run through our people, hardly giving them time to react. It also shows that she could have come from anywhere in the district given the time constraints."

"What do you mean by that?"

"The first time, she showed up at fifteen minutes, 22 seconds. This means that she wasn't really looking for us, and probably heard about the explosion over a radio or something. The second time, she showed up at three minutes, 12 seconds, which means she is looking for incidents."

"That may just be an aberration."

"Perhaps, but it is more likely she is some sort of special officer. It would make sense with the local 'legends' of people with extreme abilities. Perhaps the costume she is wearing is some kind of special body suit, designed to duplicate, or enhance, special abilities."

"Possible. A government project?"

"That's what I'm thinking. Her weaknesses seem to run in the unexpected. The first time was the nitrous oxide/paper mache rocket. This time it was the gas ball. If we are to continue here, we'll need more surprises to counter her."

"What about her companion?"

"He seems to be a backup of some type. Perhaps someone to get her out of trouble. From what little I've seen it appears that she has amazing flexibility and gymnastics training. Given the usual training routines, I doubt he has the same."

"Suggestions?"

"If I'm to face her again, I would recommend at least two crimes occurring in different areas at the same time. I will need some help from our special effects department, and some portable equipment. The police came as the secondary team was leaving the area with the smoke generators. Also, we will need more people to pull those injured away. Good padding under the clothes will help as well, but it can't be bulky."

"I'll see to it, and have the planners come up with something. We'll be keeping in close contact from now on."

"I'll see you later then."

* * *

The day had been somewhat long, at least as far as Ryouga was concerned. 

He was still embarrassed about the previous night, and what he had to do to save Ranma's life.

He nearly didn't show up in time, and having to give Ranma mouth to mouth resuscitation was too close to kissing. It had to be done, however, since she had been choking on something and semi-conscious at the time. She also hadn't woken up for almost an hour afterwards, leaving him to watch over her for quite a while.

He sighed. This Ranma was just too cute for her own good. When she was sleeping she seemed relaxed, unlike the Ranma he knew who was always waiting for an attack. He had left just as she was waking up, giving a lame line about fighting the good fight.

He had dropped down next to the building and removed the tuxedo and suit. He'd have to thank Mousse for teaching him enough of his techniques latter, although he was unsure of WHY Mousse wanted to train with him. Of course, Yuka and Sayuri finding them afterwards didn't help much. They just went on about how He and Ranma were the perfect lovebirds.

Either he found a way home, went crazy, or started to accept that this was his life now. All of those options had checks in the plus and minus columns. And the more he stayed, the more he was starting to accept this, which wasn't good for his constitution.

He also didn't like how this 'butch' Akane was eying him like a piece of meat that she would love to beat on.

Then again, Ranma's mother was a contradiction in herself.

What was that line again? Oh yes. 'May you live in interesting times.' He was definitely cursed with seeing hell. And he couldn't even blame Ranma for this!

* * *

Ranma rotated her shoulders a bit. It had been a relaxing day, thus far, and that was good. The fight hadn't done much for her confidence as she had choked on nothing that could be seen or smelled. She would need to find the item or items that would help her as she obviously didn't have enough power to take care of this on her own. 

Ah well, she could worry about that latter.

Tonight, it was sitting in front of the television and watching her research materials.

The Wedding Peach series.

To Be Continued...


	8. Doesn't that feel

In the Tendo home, life was getting on as normal.

Well, as normal as this home ever got with people who thought the abilities they had were everyday things.

From a girl who could lift, and throw, well over three hundred pounds a distance of thirty metres to a panda that used signs to talk. The home also included a woman whose only thought was babies, and a gender changing martial artist. In this place, normal was a matter of definitions.

For Kasumi, whom monks, shine attendants, and spiritualist envied for her calm, this was not a cause for concern. Then again, she could weather just about anything without raising her voice, tended to think the best of people, no matter the evidence to the contrary, and was the one person in the middle of the normal happenings in Nerima that was considered off limits. Her reputation was such that major companies planned their activities around hers, Mishima Heavy Industries, being one of the most conscientious, had a constant watch over her in order NOT to get her angry enough to frown.

But then again, Kasumi lived in a world where, according to her, the universe was always tilted towards the good, and the bad was an aberration that would solve itself.

Another attitude in the Tendo home was that which most people know as Neutrality. According to those that consider themselves neutral, there was a saying that the universe balances itself. They took the simplified physics of a reaction causes an equal and opposite reaction to a level that was beyond philosophy.

This typified Akane's current mindset as she stood outside the living room. For once, her mind could not think of anything else as it was the easiest explanation for what she was seeing. Akane stared at Ranma and the tapes she was lugging about. A huge bag of secondhand VHS tapes. She peeked around the corner of the room, and gasped quietly at the titles.

Sailor Moon. Wedding Peach. Di Gi Charat. Kakumei Shojo Utena. It was if the new girl was trying her best to catch up on all the shojo she'd missed.

Then again, thinking about everything, Ranma did make a better girl than boy, even before her newfound self. She could sew, cook, plan meals and menus, dress in a feminine, but not outrageous manner, and scam ice cream and treats better than any other girl that she knew of, even when the person serving her knew she was taken. All in all, a typical female that almost every one of those pervert boys would love to have. Thinking about it more, she could see the innocence and naivety of her current fiancée.

Damn that Ryouga for getting his hooks into HER girlfriend.

Could she peek inside the redhead's mind, she would have been floored to discover that this was, in fact, research.

More studying various kinds of mahou shojou and deciding on her own style.

This represented the third mindset in the Tendo home. As any scientist will tell you, no matter what shape, creed, following, or ego they had, 'the perversity of the universe tended towards the maximum'. It was so widely held a view among these notables that it had become more than just a theorem, it became a cliché.

It was with this mindset that Ranma had approached the tapes, hoping to use them to help in her current dilemma. 'Okay. The Wedding Peach stuff is kind of dumb. And not so good for fighting. Sailor Moon is Okay, but the speeches take too long-but I can turn those poses into an avoidance kata. There's only one of me tho...well, two if I count that Z guy. I have to watch that Di Gi Charat tape again...funny stuff.'

To this point in her reasearch, Ranma had found her life reflecting various types of manga and anime. From Projrct A-ko to the various Sentai series, her life was running strangely parallel, if one took parts of everything together. Then again, Ranma was looking at things with the view that the bastard that changed her life was determined to drive her crazy. In other words, she was seeing things that weren't there.

Nabiki just stared at Akane pulling a Ranma while Ranma pulled an Akane. She represented the fourth mindset as put forth by an English doctor for his fictional detective 'Sherlock Holmes'. 'When you have eliminated the possible, then what remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.'

She had talked with Sasuke about the change in attitude among the Kuno's. As far as the small ninja was concerned, it was a blessing. The older Master had finally become someone to respect. Planning on helping the students and the community, and proposing several ideas that would show both short term and long term benefits. To quote him:

"Masters Kuno have become the type of family I have always dreamed of serving. The type of Masters that my ancestors served. They have taken to the modern world, and have actually started to follow the modern ways of honour, with the people coming first before themselves. I no longer have to run the day to day affairs of the family company or investments, nor do I need to follow the slightest whim, no matter how insane.

"Master Kuno has become an epitome of studiousness. He has proposed a series of reforms in the education system, and has plans for improving the lives of all the students of Furinken by using a part of the family fortune to create a series of scholarships. He has also proposed a series of continuous education centres where anyone may go to learn and research what they may to improve their lives.

"The young Master has also put away certain items. He has become studious, concerned for his fellow students, no matter their background, and has started to look for an answer to many questions. He has embraced philosophy, literature, and business ideals. By putting away the persona of an ancient Samurai, he has become more like that ideal. Mistress Tendo, he has even taken down the pictures of your sister and miss Ranma saying that he was disgusted with himself. He also told me that he is glad that his actions did not lead to rape. Master Kuno regrets everything he has done and is now striving to improve himself, becoming a defender instead of a taker. Indeed, he has put behind him all...

Sexual Endeavours

Part Eight:

Doesn't that feel...

A fan fiction based on Takahashi Rumiko's Manga series, Ranma 1/2

Saotome Ranma, Saotome Genma, Saotome Nodoka, Tendo Akane, Tendo Soun, Tendo Kasumi, Tendo Nabiki, Kuonji Ukyou, Hibiki Ryouga, P-chan, Shampoo, Shan Pu, Mousse, Mu Tsu, Cologne, Ku Lon, Kuno Tatewaki, Kuno Kodachi, Tofu-Sensei, and Hinako Sensei are copyright 1987, 2006 by Takahashi Rumiko.

Edited by Digital Civilization Multimedia Productions Group Inc.

Publishing rights:Japan byShogakukan Inc. Tokyo Hong Kong by Jademan (Holdings) Ltd.  
North America by Viz Inc.

Written by Ichinohei Hitomi With help from Robert Haynie and the people on #Akane

It had taken a week. Well, to be honest, a bit more than a week as gathering the required components to the potion were not as easy as she first thought. However, Shampoo was able to gather them by visiting the more unusual markets.

To imagine that a common herb, with no use for anything other than as a spell component or as rope would be considered illegal. The police had tried to arrest her when she asked for fresh taima stem, stating that she was trying to buy some drug named mariwana. Didn't they know that that the plant was not good for things other that rope, clothing, spell components or offerings to the Dieties?

She finally found what she was looking for after talking with some of the priests at one of the Shinto shines in the area.

It would take at least ten hours to properly prepare the ingredients and then another twenty to brew properly, but it would be worth it. Shampoo had already started to set things up, as per the shows she had seen and the manga that she bought and hid in her locker. The Senshi in Jubaan had their headquarters hidden underneath an arcade. After finding a series of unused rooms in the basement which extended out well beyond the building, she had hidden them with false panels and walls, so if anyone came, they wouldn't find them. She shuddered at the thought of Akane, of all people, discovering that Ranma was a protector. That would be a disaster. It would be even worse if she found the training area and resource centre, especially the potions lab.

She had been in the home economics room when the girl had created a new life form when she was trying to make a cherry pie. It was quickly put down, but, if Akane could make a youma, which was what she discovered the evil creatures were called, with mundane kitchen ingredients, what would happen if she used magical ingredients. It was no wonder Ranma was usually hungry when she was pretending to be a boy, and fortunate that she lived in the same house as the Kitchen Destroyer as the district survived her attempts at a meal many times.

"As advisor, I will have to ensure that girl is kept away from anything that could cause a disaster. Ranma may be doing a good job right now, but she also had other responsibilities. Ones that she had to train for." Shampoo muttered in her native language. She hated to think about it, especially since it would change her colouring completely, but she would need to get her fur dyed a solid colour so as not to alert the Kitchen Destroyer.

She continued to chop away at the taima, getting rid of the smelly, and disgusting, flower buds.

---

"Well?" asked Hikaru.

"I liked the place. How did you find it?"

"Strangely enough, Sakura, it's because something was wrong with the plans for the building. According to them, the basement wall stops with the outside wall of the building, but it was about a metre short. When I checked the wall, I found the hidden door and this entire area. It already wired for power, and is ready to put computers in."

Sakura blinked. "An already wired and ready hidden complex, under the Juku? Are you sure that we are not in a video game?"

Hikaru chuckled, "I'm sure. Look, whatever the rooms were originally made for, it's not being used, or even listed. We have a large area, a small auditorium, and space for desks and computers. Phone lines are already here, and they are on, so we can use modems. Hacking should be somewhat easy, and the police are sure to have some information somewhere."

Sakura looked around and then nodded. "How about access to these levels after hours?"

"Not a problem. There is a set of entries leading from the surface. Eight in all, including a garage area for a vehicle."

Sakura turned. "O.K. That's not normal by any stretch of the imagination. It's more like something out of a spy movie than anything else. Are you sure these rooms are not being used?"

"Quite sure. The whole area was covered in dust. It hasn't been used since it was built, from the looks of things. Maybe someone was going to use it, but ended up not doing so. Besides, who would use a Juku as a cover for a spy agency, or for espionage, or anything else. Do you think they would actually recruit teenagers and students to be in some agency? This is real life, not anime!" exclaimed Hikaru.

Sakura looked over at her companion in arms. "Hikaru, not to be mean or anything, but since you've known Ranma, hell, since most of Tokyo knows of Ranma, don't you think that maybe, just maybe, that a high school spy organization just MAY have been contemplated at some time? We already know of curses, high level martial arts, magic, and a load of other stuff that makes manga, anime, and RPG's seem normal."

Hikaru was about to reply to that when he realized he couldn't, "Whatever. Anyways, since this is your idea, you're in charge. I'll get the others and we'll start setting everything up."

Sakura shook her head as she watched the miffed gamemaster stalk off. "And he say's I have a skewed view of reality."

---

The hotel was a nice place, then again, she could well afford it, not that it would be admitted to back home, of course. Then again, despite her age, or perhaps because of it, she loved traveling. And this little jaunt to Japan promised to be interesting, not that she could really go openly of course.

There were so few chances to escape ennui in the world. Despite all the advances that were being made, most people made the same choices over and over again. How it would surprise them to know that mankind dipped into, perhaps needed, a battle or war every thirty to forty years. Something to enchant the younger generation with tales of glory since, if not for those tales, the youth of the world would embroil themselves in ventures that were far worse than mere war.

In her opinion, letting fighting become something where buttons were pressed instead of personal combat would lead to something worse. With buttons, you did not have to face the person across from you. Personal combat meant that you trained yourself, and understood the horrors of war. This, in her mind, was a better deterent to future conflicts than trying to explain.

Well, enough of philosophy, she had an old friend to meet, and a building to buy.

---

The next day...

"I can't put it off any longer." Ranma mumbled to herself as she walked through the streets, not quite looking for trouble. "I'm just going to have to talk with the old ghoul, but how am I going to do that?"

If everything was following the various research sources that she had, then she could not just say something out loud, no matter how much she wanted to. To have Colonge just hand her the item that she was sure was being held, was just not done. An intermediary of some sort was usually called for, hopefully not one of those creatures.

Almost without noticing, she ended up near the Nerima Museum of Art. Looking up at the very modern building, she had to wonder what idiot would build a museum in an area that had as much damage in a day as the average for the rest of Tokyo in a year. Were there actually enough people who cared about paintings and strange statues to make such an inviting target of destruction? It was almost as if the museum was purposely set up as a...

"'Could it be?" Ranma mumbled to herself.

"Nah, even they aren't THAT stupid...Are they?" She answered her own question.

Groaning in frustration, she realised that she would at least have to go in. At some point, some stupid person WOULD attack the museum, especially since there were no longer daily battles. "Might as well get a copy of the map and see the museum from the inside. I KNOW I'm going to need it somehow."

---

An old woman sighed as she sat at an outdoor cafe drinking coffee. The day was nice, good weather, store closed, and no troubles with the kids. It was relaxing, it was sunny, it was as boring as hell...

"Hey Pinky!"

Colonge sighed. At least it was before she heard THAT particular voice. She gestured to the table. "Sit down, and what is with the Pinky comment?"

The woman in front of her cackled a bit, "Just something from American television. So how are the kids, still as troublesome as ever?"

"They are everything that we could expect from being the best in the village." Cologne replied.

"Trouble."

"Not so much anymore. Believe it or not, they are actually starting to grow up, but with Nerima..."

"Years away from actually being mature, I take it."

"Very true. Now what are you doing here, Ti, I don't remember inviting you to see me." Colonge stated to her onetime childhood rival.

"Well, I was taking off on another trip, don't look at me like that, to see the girls in Shanghai since they wanted to go to University, not that I'd deny them that, mind you, despite what the rest of the biddy's think, when your interesting communications came in. I decided to come see for myself, and if it so happens I have a few girls with me..."

"No!" Cologne growled. "This is my game."

"Ah ha! I knew it! Keeping the fun all to yourself again!" Ti exclaimed. "You never could learn to share."

"I AM going to tape all of the records that are shown on TV." Colonge blushed.

Ti considered that. "That's ok, as far as it goes, but the girls I'm bringing aren't fighters. They're technologists. You know, cameras, computers, telephones, that kind of thing. Basically outcasts from the villiage. I'm bringing them to go to university here, and they can film and plan things as well. They may not be warriors, or even martial artists, but their brains..."

Cologne grinned, "And they are coming here?"

"Yep, but they absolutely insist that no one try that 'Kiss of Marriage' bit with them. They do NOT like a lot of the rules, and since they've been out of the village," Ti stated, "They will not allow the Elders to dictate their lives."

Cologne laughed. "Do you have the items I requested?"

"Yes, but I have to ask why you wanted them remade."

"Remember the games we used to play? My main student has started to play them."

"Ah." Ti stated as the waitress came over to get her order.

---

Finally, the potion was ready, as was the dye that she was going to use.

Shampoo undressed, then poured the concoction into a small bowl in front of her. She set a small kitchen timer and, making sure of everything, she then taped the bottom parts of her eyes shut, as it wouldn't do to get the dye into them. She then poured some cold water over herself and become a cat.

Acting from the feel of her whiskers, she got to the bowl and started to lap up the potion, and right after the first taste, decided that pouring it down a cat's throat was the right way to do it. It was disgusting! Knowing of no other way, as she had to be a cat to drink the potion, she quaffed the stuff as fast as she possibly could.

"Yuch! Why couldn't the old bitches who created the stuff make it better tasting!" She stated in Japanese, not yet realizing the potion had corrected some of her worst language offenses.

Shuddering, she then turned and started to slowly climb the board that led to the dye, placing her feet carefully so that she didn't fall off. As soon as she reached the end, she gave a small jump and landed right into the black foul smelling liquid. Almost immediately, she snorted a small bit into her nose and her reflexes kicked in, the paws swiping without meaning and knocked the tape from her eyes and onto her forehead before she was completely submerged.

Groaning, she decided to keep her eyes tightly shut as she did NOT want to do this again anytime soon. It was already bad enough that she would have to do this again in a month.

After swimming in the small tank for about 15 minutes, she climbed the other board that she had set in the tank, and slowly made her way out. She just had to wait for the timer to ring and then she could continue to the cold water bath, although she wanted to leap in right away. The smell was much worse than when she was human!

---

As Ranma toured the museum, she was amazed at all of the displays. They actually had good stuff in here, ranging from classic paintings to furniture and fashions. What caught her eye, however, were the anime cels. They were beautiful productions showing colours and various details that the eye missed when viewed on tv or in the theatre.

This was what art was about. Clean lines, that, while interpretive, did not deny reality by much. The attention to the smallest of details, such as shading so as to point to lighting sources, the backgrounds, which were remarkably accurate representations of parts of Tokyo. Yes, this was the sort of artwork that she could appreciate.

As she continued to take a close look at the cels, the museum staff were preparing to unload a truck that was contained a new exhibit.

Ukyo kept a bright smile on her face as she greeted her customers. For the past few weeks, her place of business was becoming a bit more popular, as there had been a large reduction in damage due to fights. It was somewhat irritating however, that several of the older patrons were saying that they were glad she had stopped crossdressing, and asking when she was going to marry her cute waitress. In a way, it was both a compliment and a blow to her ego. As it turned out, some of her customers thought she was a boy, pretending to be a girl to get more business.

For her, the worst part of the day so far was that she could not try to find her girlfriend. If she was to succeed in her efforts, she would need the chance to casually bump into Ranma, and offer to listen to her problems. She needed someone who could go in her place, be able to hide, and...

"Konatsu-chan, I need you to do something for me."

---

Akane was taking a walk, trying to find some information on some of the activities of her rivals. Not that she was having much success as the neighborhood seemed...on edge for some reason. She had asked, but they said they couldn't feel any tension in the air. Either everyone was lying, or it was her imagination.

So far, Cologne had closed her restaurant for the day, and Mousse had gone to the library. Shampoo had apparently left earlier to visit various shrines as she had been doing for the past few weeks. Apparently, while she could understand that Ranma was, for all intents and purposes, a girl, she couldn't quite get around to wooing her. At most, Shampoo was now a friend instead of a rival for Ranma's hand.

Ukyo was too busy to try and find Ranma. Her business in the past two weeks had increased and she was hard pressed to keep up. The only opportunity she had to meet with Ranma was at the school.

Kuno...the less said the better as he was REALLY freaking her out with the new attitude.

As for her main rival, Ryouga, he had seemingly disappeared again, although she doubted that. Ryouga had proven that he could, quite easily, get from one place to another without getting lost. In fact, speak of the devil, and so shall he appear.

A low growl escaped her throat as she followed the betrayer on his rounds.

---

Ryouga was simply thinking while wandering. How had he ended up as a sidekick to a magical girl? Aside from the obvious fact that he was in another universe.

Perhaps magic was the key, he had never been too far from magic in the past year and a half. From his curse, to the various items he came across and people who he encountered, he was a walking compass to finding the most unusual magics in the world. "If Indiana Jones actually existed, then he would have wanted a Hibiki with him just to get the more interesting items. I wonder what being an archaeologist would be like? Perhaps a magical archaeologist? Although, how could I make a living like that?"

Off to his side, a small boom made itself known, as well as smoke billowing from the entrance of that building.

Time to be a superhero again.

---

Akane looked at the explosion, as had others, then quickly turned back.

He had done it again!

She would solve the mystery of how he kept escaping, or so help her, a Saotome would feel her wrath.

Specifically, Genma!

---

The smoke had started a few minutes before the loud explosion coming from somewhere in the building. Ranma coughed, and started to try to find an out of the way place to change. The washroom seemed like a good place until she went in and saw some terrified girls who were hiding out here. If this was a fire, then it was the worst thing to do so she started to herd them towards the doors. When she was sure that they could finish finding their way out of the building, she rolled under one of the seats that was hidden in the smoke.

"HENSHIN!"

From the other side of the seat rolled Gem, ready and eager for battle with the person who had the audacity to ruin her life!

Running quickly, she noted more of those 'Rubber Men' as she termed them, considering that is what they felt like when she hit them. They were removing one of the exhibits from the gallery, so she couldn't launch her 'energy' attacks. In fact, she had to be careful, or very few pieces would survive.

Gem paused in the doorway, "Halt, Art is to enrich everyones soul, not a thing to be used for evil!"

She posed, "Descending upon evil like an Angel, I am GEM. I will stop your marauding and deliver you to justice."

"So, you failed to take my warning from last time." a voice in the back sounded.

"YOU!" Gem shouted, having recognised the voice. "I will stop you and your creatures. This is a promise!"

Gem started running towards the Grey dressed man when two of the Rubber Men moved in front of her with a painting. She leapt in order to avoid it and came down on the other side, only then noticing that her adversary had disappeared. "How..."

"Over here little girl!" A voice said from the upper gallery.

Gem's eyes closed a little. He was distracting her. That had to be it because his Rubber Men were not bothering with her and continuing to move the artwork towards the exit. This called for a different tactic.

Gem Crossed her arms in front of her and shouted, "HIDDEN LIGHT!"

Her form flared brightly for a second, and when it cleared, she had disappeared.

The Grey Man shouted, "Quickly, get the items out of here. We need them to complete the summonings!"

Suddenly artwork was being taken from the Rubber Men's hands and being placed against the walls. The Rubber Men stopped, startled, and then the artwork was away from them. As soon as that happened, they started to fly in the opposite direction of where the artwork was.

Gem, in the Umi-Sen Ken was being very careful not to punch too hard to avoid sending them flying. She had to defeat them without damaging any of the precious artwork.

The Grey Man adjusted his monocle, and then tossed something similar to a Bolo at what only he could see. It wrapped around the invisible figure, and the girl screamed as it started to cut into her upper arms. "That should take care of you, at least for now."

He suddenly fell back as his head received a hit. Shaking it, he noticed a figure that shouted "Gem!"

It was that annoying man that kept interfering at the last minute. Making a signal, all of his men beat a hasty retreat.

Z, in the meantime, had removed a knife from his jacket pocket and started to cut the wire that was causing Gem's upper arms to bleed where they touched. As soon as it was cut off, she reached to fell the Rubber Men, when he stopped her. "You're hurt Gem. Get them later, you don't know what that had on it."

Gem looked and noticed that her enemies had disappeared. "It wasn't poison, if that's what you mean, but it cut into my skin. Nothing should be able to do that."

She reached down and drew the wire slowly over her gloved hand, noticing it started to cut it. "What is this thing?"

Z looked. "Leave it. We need to leave now before someone notices us, other than the enemies."

Gem looked up, "You're right. Lets get out of here."

They started to leave when Gem stated, "Who are you anyway?"

Not receiving a response, she turned. Z had disappeared as well.

Sakura nodded to one of the group as he got another computer up and running. Having to use old computers that were technically scraped was taking a risk as their speed was going to hamper them, but they could ill afford to buy new machines. Perhaps in the future. In the meantime, the new headquarters was coming along well.

---

Officer Kinomoto looked over everything in the area that the battle had taken place in. The museum had been robbed of their collection of Anime cels while the battle had been taking place, although what they could be used for was beyond her. It was something to add to the unusual crimes that had occurred.

Picking up a cut Bolo with a pencil after the forensics team was done, she noted the blood on it.

"Well?" her new supperior asked.

"Blood, not much, but enough. The splatter marks show it was wrapped around someone."

"That will have to disappear, along with the forensics files when they've completed their work."

"I understand." Kinomoto stated as she baged the evidence.

When she left the building, she sat on a nearby bench. "If that was wrapped around Gem, she needs help. How can I get it to her?"

A voice said, "If she needs help, she will find you."

Kinomoto looked around, but didn't see anybody. "Must be imagining things."

She paid no attention to the black cat with a marking of an Ankh of it's forehead.

---

The Nerima Building Association was meeting in a board room.

"What did Nabiki say?" asked one of the members.

"She didn't know what happened, or if things will return to normal. If this continues, our companies will be bankrupt in months." replied the chairman.

"We need to do SOMEthing to increase the damage in the area."

"How about that new villian?"

"What do you mean?"

"We toss him some support, and get him to destroy things."

"See about getting in touch with him. As long as no one is killed, then we'll support him with equipment."

---

"The Nerima Insurance Collective meeting is called to order. Are there questions from the floor?"

"Can we depend upon this lull in the destruction?"

"Ms. Tendo said she had no idea."

"How can we make sure that no more destruction occurs so that we don't have to pay off policies."

"We have a plan for that. If everyone agrees, we support that new heroine, Gem, monetarily as well as with whatever materials she needs."

"I so move."

"Seconded."

"All in favour?"

It was unanimous, the Nerima Insurance Collective would be more than willing to provide support to the heroine, if they could find her.

To be continued... 


End file.
